Monday, March 15, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway HOMME Part 10


FOR BOYS ONLY

IF YOUR HAIR IS RECEDING, SHAVE THE BASTARD - Embrace nature and go with it. There is nothing worse than the stench of desperation from a man trying to hang on to his last 5 strands. It just means you have more testosterone anyway...i.e. it means you are more manly. Channel Kelly Slater and take the shears to that bad boy.

SINGLETS AND TANK TOPS ARE NOT 'GOING OUT' ATTIRE - Yes yes, your muscles look very lovely, but could you please stop tryna compete with the bitches with the barely there tops? It's just all way to much pectoral muscles for one evening.

AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT - PLEASE LOSE THE 'FUNNY' SLOGAN T-SHIRTS - I once saw this guy wearing a shirt that had a picture of a dog on it with the words 'Pussy Chaser' emblazoned above it. I'm guessing homeboy had a wank on his own that night, and used said t-shirt to mop up after himself.

ONLY TEENAGERS AND BOYS THAT THINK THEY ARE MEN SEND TEXT MESSAGES - Call her for God's sake.

DON'T ASK HER TO SEND YOU DIRTY PHOTOS - It's just all a bit strange. Try youporn.com - tell 'em I sent ya.

xx

3 comments:

Wanna do Karate in the garage? said...

Oh yes! the dredded funny slogan t shirts, I have had to forefully remove my boyfriends favourite tacky slogan tshirt from the house...he wore it on a triathlon...

WORLDS BIGGEST
and a picture of a big rooster

Yes babe, hillarious :\

No. Shan't. said...

Thoroughily agree. Especially with the dirty photos. At least stop begging, I said no and I'm not going to change my mind!

Mindy said...

Haha that is true! All I can say is thank God I am not a part of the "dating scene"- my man is perfectly trained. It is by far my greatest achievement.