THIRTY YEARS OLD

My friends and people that are close to me are so over me reminding them that I am about to hit a whole new number in front of my other number. AND I DON'T CARE. It's easy to roll your twenty something eyes you bastards! I have to learn to start writing a '3' now! Contrary to popular belief, turning 30 does not make one anxious because one feels like they are getting old...NO IT DOES NOT. The real reason is because it makes you reflect.  I don't know about the fellas but I know for girls, we start planning our lives from high school. How fucking old does 25 sound when you're 18 hey? It's like pensioner steeze or something. Well I've got news for you my little teenage poppets, you may think you know but you have no. fucking. idea.

I THOUGHT: That I would be married.

REALITY: I was once engaged and since then have had a smattering of near sparks but no real fires.  With age comes wisdom and unfortunately cynicism.  This might be something to work on in my new decade.

I THOUGHT: I would have 2 kids.

REALITY: The thought of pushing anything out of my vagina (which doesn't look a day over 21 if you must know) fills me with dread. NOT YET! STILL SO MUCH TO DO! I do like kids though, but maybe I'd make a better Aunt?

I THOUGHT: I would own a house in the suburbs. 

REALITY: I live in the city and I have no desire to leave it. In fact, driving through the suburbs makes me feel anxious and depressed. I have also relocated country and state 6 times and I am yet to decide where I intend to lay my hat and invest in bricks and mortar. I am not anti mortgage though, just anti living life by the 'paint by number' method. If that makes sense.

I THOUGHT: There was a God and that we are all going to go to Heaven.

REALITY: I still do.

I THOUGHT: That one day I would be thinner, fitter and have shinier teeth.

REALITY: I am none of those things, but I am a lot happier in my own skin. Not 'thrilled' by any means, but the cold harsh reality hit me a few years ago that these are the cards I've been dealt and I best work it.

I THOUGHT: I hated avocado.
REALITY: Turns out I love it. I wonder if I'll change my mind about olives when I'm 40?

I THOUGHT: I would have a heap of ca$h.
REALITY: Instead I have a heap of air max.

I THOUGHT: That I knew everything.
REALITY: I didn't and I still don't...and isn't that exciting?

I THOUGHT: That I couldn't wait for maturity.
REALITY: Turns out, I am on an endless mission to fight it.


G'bye twennnies! As Jay would say, I'm on to the next one!