MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS

I'm doing the walk for breast cancer today...like most people, I probably wouldn't be doing something like this unless me or someone I knew was affected. Like I don't give money to guide dogs because I don't know anyone who is blind ... ok Stevie Wonder, but I don't know him personally. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it's life. We don't think about these things until they happen to us. So my Mum copped the cancer of the breast a few years back and she is a survivor...and why? 'cause she checked herself on the reg. Many others are not so lucky. So Owlies, I beg of you...check your bumps for lumps...here is a little 'how to' guide.  This bastard creeps up on us out of the blue...my Mum was only 46 when she found the fucker.  Be sensible and be aware...boobies are nice...guys dig them.

All hail the healthy tit!  (after the jump)

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Take my advice...I don't use it anyway HOMME Part 17

FOR BOYS ONLY

GIRLS STILL STUFF THEIR BRAS - You know how to tell? The spillage is more that whats in the glass...ya get me?

WE LOVE IT WHEN YOU SULK - It makes us wanna give you wristies tillz we get pins and needles. Not.

LOSE THE MAN BAG - First vomit on it, THEN lose it.

IT'S NOT COOL TO JUST GO FOR THE VAGINA WITHIN 5 SECONDS OF MAKING OUT - The trick is to make her beg. Didn't your father teach you anything?

*WE CAN SQUIRT, IT'S TRUE - But not on demand. You need to know what you are doing. Sozz.

HONESTLY? SIZE DOES KINDA MATTER - But 99% of the time it's fine. Just act like your cock is massive no matter what...because really, what else can you do?

MOST TIMES, YOU WILL LOOK WAY HOTTER IF YOU SHAVE YOUR HEAD - No wait...that's just my fetish. Whatevs, just make sure you have a nice looking head first.

*Some girls can totally squirt on demand. They are rare and they are freaks. If you find one, you got the golden ticket to Wonka's factory.