IF A WOMAN DEMANDS SOME KIND OF 30 THOUSAND DOLLAR ENGAGEMENT RING, IT MEANS SHE NEEDS CONFIRMATION THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HER - And you probably aren't ready to get married. I mean fuck, if you are in love then a mood ring would do...ya get me?
JUST BECAUSE YOU GO FOR A COUPLE OF NICE MEALS AT A FANCY RESTAURANT, AND YOU ONLY DRINK GREY GOOSE VODKA DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE TOP CLASS - There are probably more families living in the slums of Bombay or in a shanty town in Khayalitsha that have more class than some footballers and their wives. Class comes from within. You can throw a nice suit on an asshole but his true colours will always come through. Like throwing cement on top of weeds.
AGAIN I HAVE TO SAY, STOP SENDING PICTURES OF YOUR PENIS - They are actually pretty weird looking. We prefer to feel them, not see them. But thanks for the visual.
MAN, IT'S SO SEXY WHEN YOU SULK! - Not.
IT'S KINDA SEXY WHEN YOU CATCH OUR EYE IN TRAFFIC - The other day, some dude did mock fellatio on a banana at me on the freeway. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda liked it.
WHEN GIRLS GET PRETEND OFFENDED WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEIR TITS INSTEAD OF THEIR FACE, IT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT THEY ARE A FLOOZY - They actually secretly love it. But I get the feeling most of you already knew that.
obnoxiousowl@gmail.com - special email account for penis photos x
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