I can't believe it's not butter

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway Part soixante et onze

BREAK UPS ARE PRIVATE - So if you are going through one, confide in close friends and when other people ask just give them the facts in order to minimize the gossip festival.

IF HE DOESN'T ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER, IT MEANS HE DOESN'T WANT IT - Even if you chatted all night, and you got on like a house on fire, and he bought you 5 gin and tonics and laughed at all your jokes...if he says goodbye by kissing you on the cheek and doesn't ask for you digits, it's because he ain't wanting to call ya honey.  And if he did actually want them but was too shy to ask, that means he is a pussy and you wouldn't want him to be having it anyway.

GET SOME SLEEP - But don't do the whole 8 hour on the reg thing all the time before you are like 40.  Haphazard sleep patterns make you more resilient to jet lag for one thing, and it also stops you from being old or worse, boring.

GUYS HATE HEARING ABOUT OUR PERIOD - So if you don't wanna fuck him, go right ahead and tell him about your favorite tampons.

SPEAKING OF TAMPONS - Why the fuck don't you use the ones with an applicator? Eek!  Now you know I'm no prude, but I don't know why you would choose using your finger over a nice clean, sterile piece of biodegradable cardboard?

LOOK FLY AT ALL TIMES - I don't care what you are doing.  Stop saving threads and shoes for special occasions.  Every day is a fucking special occasion.  Rock that shit.

WHY IS EVERYBODY MOSHING TO DUBSTEP? - Fuck off with your hardcore temper tantrum style of dancing, this is raw sexy bass.  You gots ta get down and feel it.  Not look like a kid in a supermarket after he gets told he can't have a kinder surprise.

REMEMBER: ALWAYS CHOOSE SHORT AND THICK OVER SLIM AND LONG - Unless it's cigarettes. Those look well elegant.

I just found a dinosaur in my Kinder Surprise!

Friday is My Day

OK, old mate RUSKO played three times when I was in Europe a few months back and for whatever reason, I never got to go and check it/try to sex him.  So imagine my joy when Good Vibes line up was announced today and the man is on the bill!  Hallelujah. One of my favourite dubstep masters, plus he produced the majority of M.I.A's latest album.  It's dirty. It's grimy. It's mother fucking obnoxious. Happy Weekend you fuckers! x

KAZZ - Owner of Caribbean Kitchen

It is no secret that I have a passion for all things dance hall and dub step (those fly girls I used to work with in London will vouch for me) this being said, when I decided to throw this soiree I wanted it to be lively, I wanted colour, I wanted sublime culture and I wanted the ghetto rawness of Kingston Jamaica and the explosive atmosphere of Notting Hill carnival. So when Hemingway attended the recent Raggamuffin festival and saw Kazz from Caribbean kitchen dishing out Jamaican delicacies, he jumped on him to come feed the faces of my bodacious 'owlettes' and provide the aroma to set the tone of the night. So hear me now and meet Kazz...he'll be bringing the flavas to you...The people of Haiti would be proud.



SO KAZZ, YOUR HERITAGE IS JAMAICAN, BUT IS THAT A SOUTH LONDON ACCENT?
No! North London love

IS THERE MUCH OF A JAMAICAN COMMUNITY IN AUSTRALIA? NAMELY THE WEST COAST?
Yeh mon nuff. We are in the process of forming a Caribbean Association in WA, we have people from all parts of the Caribbean now living in Perth

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE COLOURS?
It's the Colours of Ras Tafari
RED for the blood,
GREEN for the earth
GOLD for the sun

But yuh see I'm what you call a a true Gooner all "RED"

WHAT WONDERFUL FLAVORS WILL BE ON OUR PALETTES AT THE PARTY?
Jamaican "Jerk BBQ Chicken" (is a secret blend of herbs and spices cooked over a Wood or charcoal fire. A marinade of hot-pepper as it's key ingredient) wid Dumplins (A dough mixture is shaped into medium-size balls and fried in hot oil. Wid some Rasta Four Bean salad.

SOUNDS HELLA TASTY. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE TO? Nuh Reggae

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
Jamakin-it nice!!!! Were We Bring de flava to yuh!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT GIRL, THE OBNOXIOUS OWL?
Well nice...like chicken rice haha.

Jamaican me blush Kazz x

For bookings email Kazz at bookings@carribbeankitchen.com.au or check out his website here.



YOU BETTER BE SHOWING US YOUR BESTEST WIND ON THE 27TH RUDE BOYS AND GALS X