O.W.L's Armchair Trend Predictions

A NEW POWER ANIMAL IS ON THE HORIZON.
I'm not gonna be one of those irritating bitches that say, 'I liked Owls for aaaages way before anyone else did' blah blah blah. Truth is I actually don't even dig Owls that much. Most are tacky on a necklace etc. Thing is, when I was little I really hated my big ass round eyes. I yearned for the almond shaped blue peepers of the prettiest girl in my class.  So my Nan used to tell me I looked like a little Owl and that I was beautiful. (aawww) so yeah, that's the Owl story. Plus 'ol blue eyes now has 3 kids, been divorced twice and she ate all the pies. But I digress....Owls are on their way out. As are other woodland creatures.  I think the hipsters are about to get on the dinosaur bandwagon OR it's all about the African steeze like lions and zebra's and stuff. But remember, you can't claim shit. Animals are there for the taking because they are on this earth for EVERYONE.  So don't be all like, 'I used to collect hippo's in the form of jewellery and prints etc and now EVERYONE is doing' say that to the fucking African jungle dipshit. We are all entitled to commercialise and make useless crap inspired by our 4 legged friends.  I just wish someone would decide to start making a less glamorous animal cool. Like a pig or an antelope or maybe even a taking the native fauna of Australia away from the bogans and turning the kangaroo into something hipster worthy? I dunno hey, I just think we should think out of the box on this one.

AH OH...I THINK THE VANS OBSESSION IS DWINDLING.
I am about as surprised that I am starting to see more and more Chucks around the traps as I am that JLo just got divorced.  Authentics are dope, don't get me wrong but FUCK these iconic foot coverings have been gang raped to within an inch of their lives. Thanks a lot Dog Town! So those who feel as though their parade has well and truly been pissed on by the masses are now turning to Converse. Give it time before you discover your old faithful Chucks are 20 bucks more expensive and your 17 year old sibling is asking Santa for a pair next Christmas.

'TACKY' IS NOW 'TRENDY'.
Everyone is gradually trying to out do one another in the tack game. If I had a dollar for everyone that has typed '90's trends' into Google hey.  There is a whole lot of 'Remember this?!' going on. No you don't fucking remember because you were like 3 or something.  I know this sounds a bit bitchy. God, my mum must think the same thing when I became obsessed with Madonna's Immaculate Collection. And I suppose young 'uns becoming obsessed with an era they didn't have much to do with keeps it alive and what not. I get it. Ignore me, I'm just turning 30 in a few weeks and I'm feeling sensitive.

BACK TO BASICS.
You know like when you've had loads of really rich food?  Like after Chrissy when you have pigged out on a bunch of selection boxes, trifle, every kind of roasted animal you can imagine and your weight in booze? You know how after all this you just want a cheese sandwich and a cup of tea? Or the more ambitious join a gym in January and stock their fridge with mineral water and carrots?  THAT my Owlies, is because over indulging  inevitably leads to simplicity. I predict that after all this fuss with Minaj inspired multi coloured hair, narcissistic and self indulgent tumblrs and over kill on information via the interwebs is only going to breed the desire to strip things right back and get back to basics. Over use always leads to under use. Belee dat.


CLEAN SKIN.
Ye old art form of tattoo's will become less enviable than having none at all.  There are legit kids under the age of 20 walking around looking not too dis similar to their colouring books from only 5 years ago. What. The. Fuck. You will hate them one day. I swear you will. I'm not even hating! I am all about accepting other folks style and choices and not judging one's style choices because it would be boring if we all looked the same etc etc but fuck kids, chill out on the colour needle yeah? Some things are sure in life: taxes, death, heart break and you growing up and being a very different person when you are 28 from when you were 18. Anyway, my point is, is that we all strive to be different hence going under the needle in the first place. But I really think that NOT having is on the verge of becoming way 'out there' than having any at all. Ya kna?

CHICKS IN KICKS.
Yeah yeah, it's nothing new. Just remember, as a friend of mine once said: Owning 100 pairs of air max does not make you a 'sneakerhead'. It makes you a consumer.

I'm putting the kettle on, who wants in?

For my Italian bella's who appreciate nice claws

The Obnoxious Owl Experience: Weekilinks

So we're knee deep in December...there are more fake Santa's than you could shake a stick at, Oprah is in town and Facebook had a face lift...can't decide if I'm feeling it yet, however the old one used to be the new one as well...if you know what I mean.  Social network overhauls aside, this was my week ...

First off, I had my thigh ingrained all tropical and shit ...

And that's not regrowth you are peeping, it's the ink in my pores OK? I have legs like a babies ass.  So yeah, I go me a pineapple.  There's a little story to it...but I feel lame for going on about it, so if I see you remind me to tell you, otherwise...it's just a pineapple on my thigh.  Now let's talk about them naaillzzzzzzzz...here's a better pic ...

Read more »

The eVANgelist

See what I did there? The term is often used in reference to Christianity, where the scriptures often describe "evangelism" as "spreading the Gospel". Well I have you know that there are certain critters out there that have done the very same thing with era's and now we got's a whole bunch of peeps 'brainwashed' into thinking only rocking VANS are cool. As far as I am concerned, they have just made their way on to the ever controversial Obnoxious Owl Beige List.

I bought my first pair nearly 6 years ago, just classic back with a white sole, at the Vans store on Carnaby Street in London. I think they were a bday pressie for my 23rd birthday (you do the math) - since moving to Aus I actually had them in storage back in Europe because I hardly ever wore them. I couldn't believe the Era massacre (and believe me, it's defs a massacre) that was going on down under. All these black skinny jeaned, mo sporting, flanno check shirt wearing, shitty sleeve tattoo wearing try hards thinking they're being dead original and uber cool because hey, Dogtown says it is...so it must be.

(If you look closely, this is me sporting them in 2003 waiting for a tube. Ah...the fresh face of youth)

Anyhoo...this is just another example of something being perfectly dope until a scene crowd hook their little gnashers into it, and rape it for all it is worth.

So now they have gone and brought out some tribute Era's due in Feb. These shoes are supposed to pay tribute to Suicidal Tendencies, the seminal band that first gave skate punk street cred in Southern California nearly thirty years ago. The band like the shoes have inspired generations of musicians and skaters alike. So now all these little followers have to do is wear these fuckers and hey presto! not only do they still get to wear their little pansy shoes, but they get a bit of cred for being mildly affiliated with a band they have only ever kinda heard of. It's enough to make me vomit in my authentics.

Who can blame the brand for trying to be original by bringing out a 'Suicidal Tendencies' era to help fight against the smothering of the these overrated canvas slippers? Although I think it's only going to make it worse. Just another rockabilly tattoo, beanie-in-summer wearing douche will snap up these laces. Hell, Converse are just as rad, if not better, but hey...you just stick to whatever everyone else is doing OK sugar? I'm probs gonna get a bit of a telling off from all era fans, but the thing is...I actually couldnt give a 'hoot' what scenesters think of moi. It's not like the comments would be original or anything. Ouch.