14 reasons why it sucked

OK so here's the deal. Me + men are a pathetic match. Yet again I have been part of a failed relationship, this time it only last 4 months and we only had sex once (it was long distance). If I'm being honest, I kinda knew it was doomed from the start, for several reasons:

1. He lived in Cape Town, and I reside in Western Australia. Great, already off to a superb start.
2. He was more jealous than that bird in Fatal Attraction - and we all know how that turned out.
3. I hated his surname. I wont mention it in respect of privacy, but seriously, it was bad.
4. He had no money, and this did not bother him. I don't have much neither, but it does bother me.
5. He was a stoner. And no, I don't mean having a sneaky joint with a beer on the weekend, I mean having a few tugs on his bong for breakfast, lunch and supper. Sometimes even a midnight snack.
6. Because of reason number 5 he had a very poor or maybe it was a 'selective' memory. i.e. "Really? Did we speak yesterday?" Yeah. I know.
7. I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me. This might explain the unreasonable jealousy.
8. I think if he went to see a shrink he would come out with 'sociopath' stamped on his report.
9. Not such a great kisser. Kinda did the pointy darty tongue thing. (OK, now I'm just being a bitch)
10. He never came to say goodbye on my last day in South Africa.
11. He didn't kiss me goodbye the morning after.
12. He never sent me a birthday card. I sent him some clothes and on my birthday he asked me for the tracking number for the parcel.
13. He asked for money, and when I was unable to give it he became nasty and petulant.
14. He was mean about my friends.

So yeah...he sounds like a winner. 'So why go out with him?' you ask....well dear readers for several reasons....ehrm...

1. I was on holiday in my home town and more bored than a student on study leave, so the night he took me out for a ride on the back of his bike and made sweet sweet love to me won me over from the start.
2. I kinda think me and him are cut from the same mould, except I have managed to see the error of my ways, and continuously try to correct them. This may sound arrogant, but blogs are meant to be honest.
3. He had some really great tattoo's.
4. In the beginning he made me feel like I was the only girl in the world.
5. When we first became 'official' he was extremely focused on sorting out visa's, passports and saving money for his plane ticket to Aus.
6. I found him incredibly alluring.
7. He was very good friends with my sister, and she never warned me. Well, she KIND of did, but it was a bit like getting a text message alert for a tornado.
8. I had someone who sent me wonderful text messages and it seriously added sparkle to my day.
9. I was desperate.

Well there you have it. 14 reasons why it was a bad idea and 9 reasons why it was swell. And lets be honest, those 9 reasons aren't even that good.

Even though he was a bit of a DICK to me, I still miss him. Yup, I'm a sucker for punishment evidently. But I'm 28 years old, by now you'd think I'd be able to get it right. *sigh*

So obviously this long distance thing came with rather large phone bills. I got my phone bill for last month and it was not nearly as humongous as I anticipated. Every cloud.....