FEW THINGS LEFT!

 All proceeds are going to HELP SIVA.
Email me if you want multiple items so you don't pay double postage! tammycroucher@gmail.com

GOLD BLING BLING CHAIN IN THE STYLEZZZ OF MOI
I actually have 10 of these. I found them at a sample sale and bought myself one and then thought..hmmm, others would like this. So I am selling them for $5AU each. I wore mine last night actually and EVERYONE (OK like 2 girls in the toilets) were all like 'Where did you get that from!?' So if you like, you buy yes?

How many do you want huh?

RETRO TSHIRT
I got this from a vintage store in NYC called 'Ghetto Vintage' ummmmmm, pretty sure you might get beaten up in the ghetto if you wore this. Anyway, the neck is too high on me so I have only worn it a handful of times. I LOVE the print though. Don't you? Of course you do. It's a medium and it's a fiver.

REEBOK FREESTYLES UK 5 
Worn once! Worth $150 but yours for $50. God. You could buy them and sell them on ebay for more! Crazy Kids.

SKINNY GOLD CHAIN
And then after you've bought the Reeboks and the tshirt, buy this long gold chain. It's so dope. I already have one. I wear it on the daily. Buy this one and we can consider it 'friendship necklaces' aaaahhhhhh :) love you. My friendship is for sale for 5 dolla.

YELLOW 80'S BLOUSE
This blouse is yellow.  Do you like yellow? Well then you'll like this blouse. I used to love it but now I'm not so sure. Actually, it does look kinda good with my black and white aztec leggings. Hmm....maybe I won't sell it. Well, if it's not sold by the end of the week I'm gonna remove it. 5 bucks. Or not. Whatever.

TOPSHOP MILITARY STYLE JACKET
It's a UK 12 and I am kidding myself if I think I am going to wear it again. God my tits are huge. Like seriously. Anyway, its your for 5 bucks. It has stripey lining and it's great.

YET MORE GOLD BLING
I have so much of this shit hey. O.OWL is all about the $5 bling.

ZOO YORK HOODIE
I'll miss this jumper. It comes in handy for 'Sofa Sundays'.  It's a large and it's comfy as Hell and its a FIVER.

URBAN OUTFITTERS TEE
This is an awesome fit with a wicked neckline. Makes your tits look amazing. 5 BUCKS.

CLAW MONEY TEE
Who says ladies streetwear is dead? NOT ME! That's why I'm selling this tee for $5.

PUSSY TEE
It's a tee in a size 14 with a cat on it. It's baggy and loose and looks great with ...you guessed it...leggings. How cute is the kitten? SO CUTE.  5 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

COMME DES GARCON (ESQUE) WALLET
I fucked up and bought a fakey on eBay for like $50. Yeah I know. Who wants it for a fiver? It's a good copy I might add.

OWL STICKERS
I have a few left although the green and pink are nearly sold out! Choose Owly's love heart in either red, pink, blue, yellow, green or pink. $3 and FREE POSTAGE.

COLOURS

RED PINK BLUE YELLOW GREEN

Well this is what I have so far guys. Go hard wit yo debit card. Just pop me an email once you have and hit me with your delivery details. I will express post and wrap it nicely and as I said, pop a little something extra in to say thank you for supporting my cause. I love London and I want to help from the other side of the world as much as I can.  I will be adding new items every couple of days SO TELL YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! Again, I will ship internationally and I will offer a good price on multiple items. Just hit me up and we can negotiate! No returns I'm afraid, this ain't KMART.

I'm still around.

Hello my lovely readers...
I know I haven't posted in a while...well, a while for me anyway.  Truth is, I can't be arsed ha ha! There's honesty for ya. But as well as my literary lethargy, I am also working together with a lovely Israeli whom I affectionately refer to as 'The Jew' and am only a little way away from unleashing a brand new site. I have bullied and persuaded to leave the user friendly world of Blogspot and make my way with the others over at Wordpress.  Fuck. What's next? An Apple Mac?!

So please don't stray and keep with me my babies. This girl ain't over yet and I promise instalment Part 100 of Take my advice is on the burner. I know right?! ONE HUNDRED!  And LOOOORRDDDD knows that in my 30 years of fucking up I have a corker ready for ya.

Much love and tell your friends about O.W.L yeah?  Shits about to get real.

Kisses x

THIRTY YEARS OLD

My friends and people that are close to me are so over me reminding them that I am about to hit a whole new number in front of my other number. AND I DON'T CARE. It's easy to roll your twenty something eyes you bastards! I have to learn to start writing a '3' now! Contrary to popular belief, turning 30 does not make one anxious because one feels like they are getting old...NO IT DOES NOT. The real reason is because it makes you reflect.  I don't know about the fellas but I know for girls, we start planning our lives from high school. How fucking old does 25 sound when you're 18 hey? It's like pensioner steeze or something. Well I've got news for you my little teenage poppets, you may think you know but you have no. fucking. idea.

I THOUGHT: That I would be married.

REALITY: I was once engaged and since then have had a smattering of near sparks but no real fires.  With age comes wisdom and unfortunately cynicism.  This might be something to work on in my new decade.

I THOUGHT: I would have 2 kids.

REALITY: The thought of pushing anything out of my vagina (which doesn't look a day over 21 if you must know) fills me with dread. NOT YET! STILL SO MUCH TO DO! I do like kids though, but maybe I'd make a better Aunt?

I THOUGHT: I would own a house in the suburbs. 

REALITY: I live in the city and I have no desire to leave it. In fact, driving through the suburbs makes me feel anxious and depressed. I have also relocated country and state 6 times and I am yet to decide where I intend to lay my hat and invest in bricks and mortar. I am not anti mortgage though, just anti living life by the 'paint by number' method. If that makes sense.

I THOUGHT: There was a God and that we are all going to go to Heaven.

REALITY: I still do.

I THOUGHT: That one day I would be thinner, fitter and have shinier teeth.

REALITY: I am none of those things, but I am a lot happier in my own skin. Not 'thrilled' by any means, but the cold harsh reality hit me a few years ago that these are the cards I've been dealt and I best work it.

I THOUGHT: I hated avocado.
REALITY: Turns out I love it. I wonder if I'll change my mind about olives when I'm 40?

I THOUGHT: I would have a heap of ca$h.
REALITY: Instead I have a heap of air max.

I THOUGHT: That I knew everything.
REALITY: I didn't and I still don't...and isn't that exciting?

I THOUGHT: That I couldn't wait for maturity.
REALITY: Turns out, I am on an endless mission to fight it.


G'bye twennnies! As Jay would say, I'm on to the next one!

LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE , YA KNOW?

http://www.facebook.com/pages/wwwobnoxiousowlcom/148860864486  http://www.facebook.com/pages/wwwobnoxiousowlcom/148860864486http://www.facebook.com/pages/wwwobnoxiousowlcom/148860864486http://www.facebook.com/pages/wwwobnoxiousowlcom/148860864486

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Lioness giving some the O.W.L some love and a new nickname apparently haha x

When The Pelican interviewed The OWL

The University of Western Australia approached me a while back to interview me for their mag on campus Pelican. (Do you call it campus? I never went to Uni so I don't know deez 'tings) So of course I obliged. I am on page 16 but you can read the rest of the rag here  - Like most things, click on it to make it beeeeeeeegggaaa!!!

Look what I've got!

I know I'm not the most conventional girl. Allegedly. But I do enjoy warm hands during winter.  I usually roll with basic fingerless (this mani cost a lot, folk need to see it) black woolen gloves, but THEN I came across hoopla and I can deal with my fancy fingernails not being on display (I missed my appointment this week anyway)  Check them out!

That there what you are seeing are mittens in the form of an Owl vs a rat. Yup. I know...amazing. I get sent shit all the time on here, and as you well know, I'm more about talking about boys and vagina's but when things are good then they are worth speaking of.  Dude, you HAVE to check out their site hey.  Based in New York but they ship near and far and there are plenty more designs. I have more Owl paraphernalia than you can shake a stick at (what does that even mean?) but none that come as mittens. CHECK OUT HOOPLA 

The Obnoxious Owl Experience: Another enthralling segment...

I have only been in Melbourne for 3 weeks now and it feels like forever. This is a good sign! The move to Melbs kinda feels like I've been wearing heels for 24 hours and then I put on a pair of fur lined slippers. It just feels right. You know what else is right? The people. One of the realest (is this a word?) couples I know Alex and Paul, invited me to this dope ass exhibition by a Mexican artist on Wednesday night aka 'Mexhibition' - see what I did there?

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The Obnoxious Owl Experience: My first week in Melbourne

Relocation Relocation! I have been here for 7 days now...and I think I love it.  It's almost as though the 'everything is going to be OK' fairy came down and sprinkled her magic dust on my ass. It has been FREEZING  which I guess I should be used to because of my long stint in the UK but hot damn I have obviously acclimatised to Western Australian sunshine.  But never mind, if that's the only negative thing I have to report on the place then I am pretty lucky. I have no idea where anything is, I have no idea how to get anywhere and I am the new kid on the block but I DON'T CARE! Everyone I have met so far have been stupidly nice and welcoming.
This is the view from my apartment...

I scored on the digs...its amazing PLUS my room mate is a spunk and super nice. Result! We live above a cafe that sells cupcakes with edible glitter. Yeah I know.

Did I mention that its cold? This is me being cold eating my first Melbourne laksa. Actually, my first EVER laksa. I loved it. I did a bit of shopping today and bought some warmer clothes...exhibit A...

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/\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\

On the road again...

I have seriously been relocating since I was 18. I have packed up everything and crossed international borders four times in my life. Not to mention the amount of apartments I've had in the last 4 years alone. I moved to Australia in 2007 and have moved house 4 times. That's once year which is once a year too fucking many.  I am moving to Melbourne from Perth. For those who aren't up to speed with Australian geography, Perth is west west yo! and Melbs is east.  It's a 5 hour flight with a 2 hour time difference to boot. Yup, it's a big ass island is this one! I am relocating for work reasons mainly but the bigger picture is, is that I am not Australian and I have only lived in the one city the entire time I have resided down under.  Apparently I'm 'gonna love Melbourne'....I am quite moist when I think about this new adventure but a little sad to leave behind a tiny city in Aus that has always made me feel really welcome.  They say moving is as stressful as a death in the family, I reckon it's worse.

I think the 'stress' that comes in to play is only partly due to it being a lot of hard and boring work but it's the emotional roller coaster that is exhausting.  Us humans hoard a lot of 'stuff'. Even those smug assholes who carry the 'travel light' mantra will be surprised at how much shit they have when they begin to scratch the surface.  Oh and how scratching the surface can make stuff bleed!  For example, when packing up I discovered an old shoe box that contained every single birthday card I have received from my parents and grandparents starting right from my first birthday.  Um, how this has managed to travel the globe with me I'll never know. What do you do with this shit? It's not like I sit there once a year reading old birthday cards while eating birthday cake and reminiscing about my third birthday party now is it?  BUT...do you know how heart wrenching it is to just throw shit like that away? THE GUILT! Oh the fucking guilt. You just feel like a bad person with a heart of stone when you throw something like that in the bin on top of last nights left over dinner innit?

This is what I mean about the emotional ups, downs and turnarounds. You look around you a couple of nights before packing and you're like, 'meh, I don't have that much stuff' and THEN you start opening cupboards and drawers and you're like, 'OH fuck.' I am all about silver linings and finding the upside in shit situations, so when I think of the devastating floods and earthquakes, I can't help to feel slightly jel that at least they got rid of all their crap. I mean, if a flood came through my house and washed away my 4 broken swivel Nokia mobile phones, my box of old birthday cards, my box of 'just in case' shit which involves a My Little Pony birthday invitation pad (because you never know), 673 clothing items that I will never wear again in a million years but I keep because someday I might, my collection of cookie cutters even though the last time I baked was 2004....to name a few.  These are things I forget I even have until I move house and I come across them and then reach the proverbial fork in the road....do I chuck it or do I continue to carry it around with me like a gangrenous limb?  If I forgot I even had this crap I wouldn't even miss it, ya know? Hence why I think it would be the silver lining of a natural disaster because something bigger than me just comes along and makes the fucking decision for me. (I'm always paranoid I use the word 'hence' incorrectly so feel free to correct me, I need to learn)

Moving is emotionally draining because of the all day long nostalgia. Coming across old photos, nick nacks and souvenirs that transport you back to happy, sad or crazy times. One minute you are gazing at an old photo of when you and your best friend from when you were 13 the next you are stumbling across movie stubs you kept from the dates you went on with your ex. (I legit threw away 2 movie tickets from when I watched 'Hitch' at Shepherds Bush cinemas the other day) all while you are sweating and lifting and packing you are forced into going back in time and it's draining. But would we have it any other way? Do we want to walk into a stark white room with no signs that anyone ever lived there? Do you want Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones to walk in and make you forget everything up until todays date?  No bloody way. This is why I decided that on my move from Perth to Melbourne I would assign myself 10 boxes for everything. Whatever didn't make it got chucked because there is no shoe box, Ikea storage system or bottom kitchen drawer that can hold anything better than the grey matter between my ears. This way, I carry everything with me wherever I go, there is no charge for excess luggage and home is wherever I am.

OWLY AND FITZY SITTING IN A TREE!

Turn your little heads over to Ms Fitz  bodacious blog and peep the smut I've done for her here!
It's the only fashion blog I give a shit about.

I never do it either

You know how like when you were at school and you didn't do your homework? Remember how relieved you were when the kid sat next to you didn't do theirs either? Yeah man. That sense of relief is priceless.

Well I didn't do my homework, nor do I ...

• Pay my parking fines on time. In fact, I am staring at a pile of twelve of them right now. Yes. Twelve. Is there a parking ticket man reading this? Can you do me a sweet deal?  The other night I was drunk walking down the road in the city and saw a group of Po Po and charmingly (slurring is regarded as charming) requested they swipe my parking tickets. They laughed. 
• I never wear sunscreen. I really should. I like really really should. This is Australia! Every 3 seconds people get skin cancer from standing under a light bulb or something. I also use solarium's. I'm not proud and I don't tell everyone. Well...just the 1000 plus people who read this blog every day. But I bet half of you smoke SO THERE!
• I never wash my fruit. But guess what? You don't have to! Plus I've had worse in my mouth to be honest.
• I never do pelvic exercises but I am defs gonna start because the other day I sneezed and a bit of wee came out. NOT SEXY. Plus they were my last clean knickers.
• I hardly ever read these days. This really pisses me off. I blame the internet. I also blame that the days only have 24 hours in them and I blame the fact that I am human and have to sleep at some point. 
• I never wear my seatbelt when I just nip down to the shops. Oh my God. A copper is gonna read this and give me the lethal injection I JUST KNOW IT.
• I never remember to not shave between waxes and then the next time my vagina goes to Brazil it feels more like it went to Bosnia. I bring these things on myself.

Nailzz done did.

I haven't spoken or posted about my claws in aaaaagess. Well, I stepped up my game again putting in the effort. Except I lost the square tips I've been rocking for near on 4 years and thought I'd go round...like my ass.  I kinda prefer it, it is definitely more elegant than hoochie and it's about time I took the path, what with being nearly 30 and everything. I thought I'd go through a bit of history of what the ends of my fingers have been up to over the last few years. My favorite obviously being the manis I got at WAH back in London last year. Play the tune while you lurk.

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It's Australia's Garage Sale Trail and guess which Owly is repping the West Coast??!

Yup, Come round my gaff and grab yourself a bargain. We've got some 2nd hand bikes that have been done up by a devil of a man, cake and punch (made with the finest vintage of goon), dope threads, my entire back catalogue of British Vogues, kicks, Art and general brick a brack.

The official website is here and my interview by the West Australian can be found here (I look like a Greek widow) and the facebook event page is HERE click ATTEND and come hang out and join in the fun.

Also, if you want to flog stuff and make some $$$ then hit me the hell up OK?

A large chunk of moolah are going to those that need it more.  Let's face it, other than being hung over, what else you gonna do on Sunday eh?

xx

I'm a donut!

I am half English and spent the better half of my twenties in London. Whilst I lost my ability to tan for a short while, I gained a massive soft spot for that tiny island in Europe. Now I will be blogging for them from a bigger island! Yes, I shall I be contributing to Sofidonuts hence forth. They did a little introductory interview of yours truly and I only half sounded like a twat...result! Read it here and bookmark the site. You is gwaan love it x

Me just galavanting all up in the interweb...WORLDWIDE!

The blue boob photograph I did for INSA made it up on JUXTAPOZ magazines website this week...

It's amazing what a bit of water based paint can do for one's knockers!  Here is the link

 

I also did an interview of sorts for PIGEONHOLE where I said a few hilarious things here