CHECK IT!

YUM YUM chocolate chip honey dip butterscotch ice cream truck, let's back it up...

Ladies and Gentlemen (preferably single, non douche bag gentleman - email me your number baby) please let me introduce to you my New Years Eve outfit which was made specially for me by BUTCHDIVA from the label SPANDEX AND CHAOS based in Brooklyn, New York. Look familiar? That's because the cartoon me is rocking it in my blog banner which was designed by my girl MOTEL 7 - I love it when ballin ladies come together!

MOTEL 7 - Artist

I am one lucky little Owlie, because I get to have Motel 7 design my banners. And let me tell you, she is one busy lass, so my appreciation is abundant.  But then again, she is South African AND female so her multi tasking skills will be off the hizzay.  How cute is my new banner?!  And furthermore, how talented and amazoid is this chick?!  She has been one of the best fem writers on the scene back in Rape Town for yonks, and now Europe get to have her.  But this ain't no Australia claiming Kiwi people kinda type thing, Motel represents Africa in all she does...even if it is just the drinking. I kid....she represents Africa with her originality, her tenacity and strength during tough times and quirkiness.  My favourite stuff are her girls...how fucking dope are they?  I interviewed her a year ago here when she did my original banner (miss you!) and I thought we'd do a bit of catch up with Ms Motel, Hotel Holiday iiiiiiiiiiiiin!  Fuck I love this bird...you will too, read more after the jump ...  

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Happy 1st Birthday to the Owl!!

Yup, it's a new dope banner you are eye balling my friends. My girl Motel 7 did a grand job here...it's not that we didn't like the old one, we just thought that seeing as it's Owl's first birthday we would treat her with a bit of a makeover. She's summery with her little fruit hat, her Ltd Edition Air Max and Owl ice cream...fuck, I need to bring out an Owl ice cream! And check her threads designed by BUTCHDIVA.  Lady is steezing! 

So goodbye old mate...you served me well...

Here's to another great year!

xxxo

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part cinquante-quatre

DON'T OVER APOLOGIZE - If you are like me, then you will over analyse the situation thus become more paranoid than a junkie which means you may try to over compensate. Don't. It does nobody any good and it makes you look weak.

TRY NOT TO ASSUME OR PRESUME - Take every moment, person, experience as it comes. You have no idea how many people you are cutting off or things you won't experience because of misguided presumptions. However, this does not mean throw all caution to the tornado. Read the 'how to spot a knob end' post. Plenty of assumption is going on up in there.

YOU SHOULD DEFS RING YOUR NAN EVERY NOW AND THEN - Don't neglect old people. They've lived it, done it and bought the fucking tshirt. Their lives have been in vain if we don't take lessons from them.

DON'T MESSAGE HIM - Put your damn phone down. Chill out. It's all good. It will work out if it's meant to.

POLYESTER KNICKERS WILL GIVE YOU THRUSH - What are you trying to do here? Who even makes this shit? Men. That's who.

NOT EVERYONE IS BITING YOU - Come on! You ain't THAT original. We all got the idea from somewhere.

Some people are pretty dang original though, like my girl Motel 7 xx

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part quarante

FASHION MAGAZINES ARE BOGUS - We are now in 2010. In the 90's we were told to dump the leggings and shoulder pads because everyone was so repulsed by 1980's style. Now the same rags are putting it on their front covers. All I'm saying is that you should read these bunches of paper with the proverbial grain of salt. Rock your own steeze. Wear double denim, horizontal stripes and sequins on a Tuesday - if you so please. Those 'do's and don'ts' are for the beige section of the world population who have their creativity locked in a personality birdcage. Let that fly mother fucker out.

LONG NAILS ARE NOT IDEAL FOR SELF PLEASURE - Watch what you're doing with those bad boys.

MAKE SURE THE LID IS ON TIGHT ON YOUR WATER BOTTLE BEFORE YOU PUT IT IN YOUR BAG - Otherwise you are in for a truly 'Fuck My Life' situaaaay.

YOU SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FEEL YOUR TAMPON ONCE IT HAS BEEN INSERTED - If you are even marginally aware that you have anything inside your lady box, then fix it. As if the whole event isn't uncomfortable enough!

IF YOUR FRIEND LOOKS LIKE A DOG'S DINNER IN HER OUTFIT - TELL THE POOR MAMA! - It's way worse not to PLUS it makes you a pretty shitty person if you don't. Also, be reasonable here...don't tell her it's horrible just because you don't like it, it should be because it is unflattering i.e. she tried to pour a pint into a half pint glass...you picking up what I'm putting down?

ANAL SEX IS NOT A DRIVE THROUGH MEAL - This is top restaurant, 6 month wait for a booking at $150 a head kinda deal. They are lucky it's even on the fucking menu.


God. I really need to start taking my own advice x

art by: Motel 7

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente - six

SHAVE UNDER YOUR ARMS PLEASE - If I have to tell you why, then kindly stop reading this blog. I don't know you.

ALL GUYS THINK ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOU WHEN THEY FIRST MEET YOU - The thought crosses their mind for defs. First they think 'Would I?' and then if the answer is yes they think, 'Could I?'. Trust me on this. Don't make your ass an entree, it deserves to be the main course. Comprende?

CLEAN YOUR CAR YOU DIRTY GIRL - Nobody wants to get in your ride if they have to sit amongst McDonald's wrappers and clothes that need a spin in the washing machine. Sure, sit there and say, 'Don't get in my car then' - but then you have to ride around in your muck all the time. I'm thinking of YOU here girl.

DO NOT COPY ANOTHER PERSONS TATTOO - It's kinda like getting plastic surgery to make yourself look like someone else. Well OK, maybe that's a bit of an extreme comparison but it's still stealing someones identity. Just don't.

HAVING SEX IN THE DOGGY POSITION WILL 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 GIVE YOU CYSTITIS - Go pee straight afterwards to flush out any bacteria he has pumped into you.

What?! Your mum ain't gonna tell you that now is she?

God speed x

art by: motel 7

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente et un

TAKE OUT INSURANCE AND SAY YES TO EXTENDED WARRANTY - Yes yes, I KNOW you think it will all be fine and nothing will happen/break/get stolen/have red wine poured all over it, but trust me kittens, as they say...'shit happens'. The problem is, said shit will happen when you're warranty has run out. For like 9 bucks a week you are covered for thousands...so don't be a muppet and be insured. Otherwise, you will have to type your blog from a very un chic internet cafe instead of the privacy of your own pad. For instance.

DO NOT WATCH 'THE HILLS' - Like, I'm like so like totally serious like. I watched it for about 15 minutes and I could literally feel my brain start to crumble like the first cookie in the packet. What the FUCK is that shit?!

DO NOT SPRAY PERFUME ONTO YOUR COSTUME JEWELLERY - It turns it green. Not a good look darling.

IT'S OK TO HAVE YOUR BRA PEEKING THROUGH YOUR CLOTHES IF IT'S A PRETTY COLOUR - Nobody wants a glimpse of your over washed 'used-to-be-white' grey tit hammock, OK? A sexy sliver of turquoise strap or lacy pink peeking our the top of your dress is cute. Manky underwear or wearing your bra as a bikini top at festivals is a bit well...well I'm not gonna say it, but it rhymes with 'Right Mash'. Ya get me?

TRY TO KEEP YOUR PERSONAL PLANS TO YOURSELF UNTIL THEY ARE FINALISED - Otherwise all the little doubters out there get a smug little look on their face. And that will just piss you off. I've lived it, trust me.

Don't make me say I told you so x

(art by Motel 7)

MOTEL7 SOLO SHOW IN AMSTERDAM

Well you all know that my most favourite contemporary artist ever is my girl Motel 7. She is also the wonder behind my banner for this 'ere blog.

She has a solo show coming up in Amsterdam as well as Oslo where she currently resides. So if you are one of those fly European types, make sure you get yo ass down there!! It's at the Willem Kerseboom Gallery in Amsterdam and opens Februaury 6.

Check it...

Motel never fails to amaze and touch me. Not in that way...well...maybe in that way.

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part treize

LAUGHING AT BIG ISSUE SELLERS IS JUST NOT COOL - In any shape or form. OK, SOMETIMES they say 'Big Issue' a bit funny, and yes it can be amusing but I actually saw two little teenage dregs of human pointing and laughing at an old man trying to sell this bloody magazine. Jesus, it's making me angry just typing this. I hope that they end up in the same position but instead of someone just laughing and pointing, I hope they get pissed on.

YOU REALLY DO NEED TO WAIT FOR YOUR HAIR TO DRY BEFORE YOU STRAIGHTEN IT - That sizzling sound ain't good for your barnet sugar. You are burning it. Not drying it. This is why half of those plastic girls with poker straight burnt hair look like they have roadkill on their heads. Your hair should sway and blow in the breeze, not stay dead still on your head like a run over squirrel.

SPEND A FAIR AMOUNT ON A GOOD HAIRCUT - Get it right the first time, then go to the cheaper places for maintenance. Your hair is the curtains and your face is the window. Everyone comments on the curtains before they look out the window. You get me?

IF YOU DON'T LET HIM HANG OUT WITH THE BOYS, THE BOYS WILL TRY TO ELIMINATE YOU - Seriously. The male bond is a strange thing, but they love it, so do not try to destroy it. If you become the 'bitch girlfriend' of a friend who 'used to be so much fun until he met blah blah' then they will whittle you down until he either dumps you, or you just end up feeling bullied. Make an effort with them, yeah some of them will be annoying and others may even hit on you...but if you love your man, you will need to understand that he loves his friends - even if you would rather stick a fork in your eye than play nice...just let them be.

IF YOU ARE A SIZE 14 OR WEIGH MORE THAN 70KG YOU CANNOT WEAR SPANDEX, SHORT TIGHT SKIRTS OR MIDRIFF TOPS - Look darling, I'm not even saying that you are fat. But you aren't Twiggy either and whilst this may look good on your friend, sadly, it does nothing for you. Your skinnier companions may be dying to wear those corset style dresses or even fill a C cup, but that ain't gonna happen neither. I've said this before, dress to hide your flaws and show off your assets. I saw a girl in a dress tonight that looked like someone tried to stick a stamp onto a watermelon.

IN THIS LIFE, YOU GET 'ENERGY PROVIDERS' OR 'ENERGY DRAINERS' - There will always be someone waiting in the wings to shit on your parade. You may think that someone who praises you all the time and strokes your ego is a energy provider, but you would be thinking wrong. These are people pleasers. And what people pleasers do, is they tell you how everything you do is just wonderful, even when it is bad for you, therefore you will drown in your own wrong doings that were coaxed on by a wolf in energy providers clothing. Now an energy provider will be there for you when you need them...not by carrying you and doing if for you, but by being your training wheels on the bike of life that you are learning to ride yourself. An energy provider will laugh and celebrate in your triumphs and tell you when you are being an asshole in the nicest way possible. Basically, they want to see you be the best you can be. Now go and sort through the people you surround yourself with and carefully divide the weak from the strength, the men from the boys, the sweet from the sour. The Lyndsay Lohans of this life need to do what they do best, and suck their parents dry. Not you.

You know it makes sense x

THE LADY BEHIND OBNOXIOUS OWL'S NEW BANNER DESIGN - MOTEL7

Motel7 better known to me as Toyah is talent incarnate. We met 3 years ago in Cape Town, subsequently because she read one of my blogs where I was ignorantly bitching and whining about the lack of fashion sense in the Mother City and she jokingly reprimanded me and offered to take me to a new club where all the then 'cool kids' collected. I hadn't lived in South Africa for 6 years so in fact this magnificent 19 year old kid was reintroducing me to my home, and she didn't even know it. We've been tight ever since. I haven't seen her for the last two years but there has been no losing touch. Especially as she is now one of the freshest, abundantly talented and coolest fucking graffiti and fine artist that has left Africa. Rarely do you find such a humble soul underneath all this madness. Motel is young, beautiful and obviously gifted but along comes with it is a perseverance and maturity that makes her work just that much more intriguing.

I am honoured and fucking STOKED that she has taken time out between painting and preparing for a new exhibition to design my new banner for Obnoxious Owl.

OK, enough kissing her ass and let's ask this broad some questions.....

Q: SO TELL US WHERE YOU ARE CURRENTLY RESIDING AND WHY?

A: I am currently living in Oslo, Norway. Out of convenience more than anything else I guess. I have family here, and starting to get to know the people, so every day it becomes easier to live here. Next stop, Japan! (no family there mind you!)

Q: SO HOW DOES THE 'SCENE' DIFFER IN NORWAY COMPARED TO HOME?

A: The graffiti scene here in Norway is different for many reasons: Firstly, Oslo has a much older, developed understanding of graffiti. South Africa is still very divided and people struggle to get out of their bubble. Here in Oslo I can paint any style I want, and I don't get hate for it. In South Africa every piece someone does gets scrutinized on the web. I don't think they are painting enough that might be the problem....

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