Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part vingt - trois

WITH THE GOOD, MUST COME THE BAD - If you don't have a few fuck wits running around and pulling you down and kicking you in the proverbial face, then you wouldn't appreciate the bodacious peeps out there that make living worth while. So don't react towards too much of the negative energy...take it on board...see if it feels right and whether you can take something from it...then let it go and keep your head up and your eye on the ball. It's like playing Super Mario and the little toadstool and turtle things try to piss on your parade along the way because they don't want you to get Princess Peach. What would Mario do? He'd jump over them and kick them in the gonads and acquires a gold coin in the process. (The last time I played Super Mario I was 12 and it was on Nintendo with one of those cartridges that could hold 812 games or something). The only time they get the better of him is when he doubts himself. Don't be that kind of Mario.

SPEAKING OF PRINCESS PEACH... - Everyone should listen to Peaches. That bird is the dopest of the dope. She has a mouth like a trucker and is still grooving and looking hot in her forties. She is proof it can be done.

SLAP ON THE EYE CREAM - I've said this before. But I'm telling ya, other than your hands, those are the first things that tell your age. So don't skimp and get a good one . Elizabeth Arden Privage is pricey, but I swear to God it acts like Polyfiller for the skin. Why is it that we would spend the dosh on shoes which we only wear on a few nights out, but not on our skin that is with us forever?

AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT - Get involved with the 'ol sunscreen too. Keep the leather look for your belts and shoes ... burnt skin ain't chic honey.

IF YOU HAVE A GUT, YOU CANNOT WEAR A BIKINI - Let's not kid ourselves. Nobody wants to see lumpy flesh hanging over what is essentially underwear on the beach. Get a sexy one piece (there are plenty about) and get one with a plunging neckline that shows off those bazoonga's. Hide the flaws and get out the flawless. Hey man, I wear red lipstick, chandelier earings and Cha Cha Gabor style sunglasses to the beach...who said we have to be all 'surfs up' about it?

God bless my little owlettes xx