Thursday, January 21, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente et un


TAKE OUT INSURANCE AND SAY YES TO EXTENDED WARRANTY - Yes yes, I KNOW you think it will all be fine and nothing will happen/break/get stolen/have red wine poured all over it, but trust me kittens, as they say...'shit happens'. The problem is, said shit will happen when you're warranty has run out. For like 9 bucks a week you are covered for thousands...so don't be a muppet and be insured. Otherwise, you will have to type your blog from a very un chic internet cafe instead of the privacy of your own pad. For instance.

DO NOT WATCH 'THE HILLS' - Like, I'm like so like totally serious like. I watched it for about 15 minutes and I could literally feel my brain start to crumble like the first cookie in the packet. What the FUCK is that shit?!

DO NOT SPRAY PERFUME ONTO YOUR COSTUME JEWELLERY - It turns it green. Not a good look darling.

IT'S OK TO HAVE YOUR BRA PEEKING THROUGH YOUR CLOTHES IF IT'S A PRETTY COLOUR - Nobody wants a glimpse of your over washed 'used-to-be-white' grey tit hammock, OK? A sexy sliver of turquoise strap or lacy pink peeking our the top of your dress is cute. Manky underwear or wearing your bra as a bikini top at festivals is a bit well...well I'm not gonna say it, but it rhymes with 'Right Mash'. Ya get me?

TRY TO KEEP YOUR PERSONAL PLANS TO YOURSELF UNTIL THEY ARE FINALISED - Otherwise all the little doubters out there get a smug little look on their face. And that will just piss you off. I've lived it, trust me.

Don't make me say I told you so x


5 comments:

Cathryn said...

Just wanted to say that I saw you in yen! And that you are awesome.

Obnoxious Owl said...

don't make me blush Cat. May I call you Cat? xx

aDeLiNe said...

The last one sounds very familiar...

beauty in the breakdown said...

Goodness, your words of wisdom blow me away. I'll read your blog and think to myself "Of course! Why didn't I consider that before??" Incredible.

Thanks for making me a little bit wiser!

-Adriana

Obnoxious Owl said...

You already know these things deep down Adriana xx