Saturday, January 30, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente-deux


DON'T SHAVE BETWEEN BIKINI WAXES - Unless you are into self harm that is. Ladies, you will climb the walls if they slap hot wax onto your pubic bristles and yank that shit out. Just be patient and wait for your appointment. If you are desperate and I do mean 'About to have all frill sex with Johnny Depp' desperate then neaten up the sides and trip the bonnet. But even then I'm not even sure it's worth it.

THERE IS A VERY FINE LINE BETWEEN SAYING WHATS ON YOUR MIND, AND BEING DOWN RIGHT RUDE - Think before you speak in other words.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'THAT COLOUR IS TOO BRIGHT' - Too bright for whom exactly? All the beige people of the world? Exactly.

THERE IS NO SHAME IN DECIDING NOT TO DRINK FOR THE EVENING - There doesn't have to be a moral reason, if your driving that's a good reason but if you just don't feel like it, then don't do it. Peer pressure is sooo 1996.

HAVE A GOOD THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN. WHAT MAKES SENSE TO YOU. WHAT MAKES YOU TICK. WHAT YOU WANT TO MAKE A STAND FOR. WHAT IT IS YOU WANT TO PROJECT TO THE WORLD THAT SAYS WHAT YOU'RE ALL ABOUT - Then do it. Just saying that you don't believe in God for example, and not knowing why, makes you look kinda naive. Read a newspaper, maybe learn what your government is trying to make a stand for. Don't get annoyed when others are seeming to 'take over' - it's not their fault that you aren't holding tight on any personal values or beliefs. You kinda made yourself an easy target.

RED LIPSTICK SUITS EVERYBODY - The trick is to find your perfect shade.

DON'T BE CRYING OVER ANY FOOL THAT WOULDN'T CRY OVER YOU - If he wants it he can put a fucking ring on it. innit.

Love your bums x

Art by: Miss Van

5 comments:

Cassie said...

Had a convo recently with karate saying I wanted to wear red lipstick but couldn't pull it off, maybe I'll just find a good shade now :)

Obnoxious Owl said...

It really does! If you have olive kinda skin or yellowy, get one that is more orange, like Lady Danger' by MAC, paler skin suits more of a maroony red. But pillar box, bog standard red suits everyone! It's the only colour they had in the 30's! Jungle Red by NARS, at mecca cosmetica, give it a go ;) xx

Unknown said...

I bought myself some red givenchy lipstick last year. I haven't worn it that much, but I definitely don't call my lipstick a waste of money! However, I am still too scared/embarrassed to go and get a bikini wax.

Anonymous said...

DON'T BE CRYING OVER ANY FOOL THAT WOULDN'T CRY OVER YOU.

How I relate to that one... *sigh*

Adriana said...

Always such an inspiration.
Shall I wear the perfect shade of red lipstick to my schools Valentines Day dance? I think I shall. I will go on the quest for the color for the next two weeks. =)

-Adriana