Thursday, May 27, 2010

OWL'S SOFA: 'Do we screw the crew?'


"Dear Owl,

I am interested to hear your thoughts on the “Don't Screw The Crew”* principle...

Forgive me if this is a topic you have already covered! Was just pondering it on the walk to work, and realised of late I have been in situations where I have either found the friend of a dude I’ve been banging quite hot, or a dude Ive been banging has obviously found a friend of mine hot. Thoughts?

For many of my friends its a golden rule that they refuse to break . Personally, I wouldn’t hook up with a guy who had been seeing a good friend of mine, but I’m not sure how many practise this guide?

*Crew = good friends, not acquaintances "


OK. Straight to the chase. There is no black and white rule as far as this is concerned. For many reasons, but mainly these...
  • How much is your friend actually into the dude? - If she is majorly gaga over homeboy, then leave well alone. There is plenty other penis's attached to fine body's we can devour. It's a pretty cunty thing to make eyes at a good friends 'sorta boyfriend but things haven't been confirmed yet'. However, if you think that she isn't that keen on him, then you could carefully manipulate the sitch. It will all fall out of bed eventually, and when it does, you can sneak up like a lioness on a wounded zebra. They do it on Gossip Girl like all the time.
  • How good is your friend and how keen are you on fella? - Secret time. I have a friend. Who has a SMOKING hot ex. Not only is he easy on the eye, he has brains, braun and if rumours are correcto...he has been um, blessed. Now the friend...hmm, I suppose we're good friends. But if she weren't in my life, I probs would not notice. (sheesh I sound like a proper biatch) but anyway, all I'm saying is...you gotta weigh up the pro's and con's. It's slim pickings out there as far as men go who tick the boxes, sometimes you gotta make sacrifices. That being said, I would only probably risk a friendship over someone I would actually like to pursue...not just for some genital stimulation. It's not worth the gamble.
  • Don't get sucked in - Usually hot guys come with hot friends. Unlike chicks who enjoy having a few fuglys hanging about to make ourselves look better...God we're cows. Anyway. If you are being hammered by some cutie and it's early days, you will always be wondering if there may be someone better, and then you hang with their mates and someone catches your eye. It's like a box of chocolates being offered around...you like them all, but you are only allowed to take one so you go for the truffle...'cause hey, you enjoy a good truffle and you know what you're getting, and once you have eaten it, you can honestly say you enjoyed it but maybe you shoulda gone for a caramel 'cause that might have been more fun! So you take the caramel when no one is looking...and then you look like a little chocolate whore when you get caught out. Ya get me?
  • Guys talk - Chances are, all of old mates friends would and have thought about banging you. But then you become the trick amongst the group and you can land up with no man, a vagina that has been the penis tour bus stop, and a bad reputation.

I think it boils down to what our intentions are. Is it because we actually fancy the guy, or because our hormones are livin la vida loca? Make sure that when one makes this decision, we use our brains and not our clits to do the thinking.

God speed...

Love Owl xoxo


6 comments:

Lady SJ said...

Very good advice Owl and I LOVED the use of the term 'old mate'

<3 you oh wise one

Off to sleep with some acquaintances ex's now... x

Obnoxious Owl said...

acquaintances ex's are the new black! x

Anonymous said...

My ex has banging friends and he's happily with someone else, is it cunty to try and swoop up one of his friends?

Obnoxious Owl said...

Nah, not if he is with someone else and it's all good. It's a bit high school to not go anywhere near your ex's mates just because you once were with him. Go forth and mate rape x

Anonymous said...

now what about the work crew?

Obnoxious Owl said...

It's never a good idea. I am yet to hear a success story regarding this.