Monday, May 17, 2010


Dear Owl,

What are your thoughts on losing your virginity? Age, time, place, person, etc.

Honestly? There is no right age, time nor place (I'd say older than 15 is maybe wise) The important thing here is your state of mind, and hopefully, a partner that isn't a fuckwit (unfortunately, non-fuckwits amongst teenage boys are thin on the ground) and the reason WHY you want to lose your V card.
The following are very bad reasons to want to give up your vagina barrier:
  • you want others to know you've had sex;
  • you want to gain some kind of respect for having sex;
  • peer pressure; (geez, is this still happening?)
  • he says he will become your boyfriend if you get your knickers off;
  • he says you don't really love him unless you agree to bump genitals; (wanker alert)
  • if it looks like it's gonna take place in a car, in a randoms bedroom at a party, or er...on the school rugby (if it so happens you are reading this and you have already given up your virgo in these circumstances, meh, whatcha gonna do?)

I know we are told that it should be 'special' and with 'someone you love' - but the fact of the matter is, this is hardly ever the sitch. I'd go with 'if it feels right, go with it'. Don't plan the whole thing out and make a big deal about it. It's a bit like new years eve ... there is the whole anxious decision of what you're gonna do, where you're gonna go, whatcha gonna wear etc - everyone is out feeling like they are 'supposed' to be having a good time 'cause it's new years eve, and everyone knows it's meant to be this mega bash - but almost always it's a major disappointment and you vow to be more low key next year, because new years eve is overrated.

Sex the first time? It's overrated. It's awkward, messy and you're not really sure if you're doing it right. I hated my first time! But it's been pretty amazing since then, all you are doing the first time is breaking the seal really. Just remember that it's private, and that you feel ready...'cause no amount of vaginal reconstructive surgery is reversing time. Make sure it's what you actually want. Make sure you TRUST and RESPECT the person you are engaging in the act with - I think 'love' is just a bonus. Don't put too much pressure on tryna make it perfect. Blair lost hers to Chuck in the back of a limo (for those who don't watch Gossip Girl, get familiar), she hated him at the time, but who fucking felt good and it was HOT!

Remember my lovelies ... it's YOUR body, and YOUR life. Sex will not make him love you. And that is the truth right up until you are 80 years old.

It's all about gut feeling here.


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