Saturday, November 20, 2010

Take Kris Sheasby's advice...he's only from Leeds anyway!

Kris is a London based graphic artist and you can peep his willy and his work here

Dear ladies.

I am here to make a point, not as a chauvinist, but as an appreciator of the fine, the glorious, the unseen, the mecca, the holy grail.
As a man I am a pre programmed individual, wired to the hilt with primitive impulses. I set out on this inherent quest from birth.

And finally, there they are, twinkling in the evening mist like cheeky Squirrels, gathering nuts for a tudor-esque feast - until vomit, I presume.

Please forgive me then, for yearning, cupping and caressing your smashing orbs, as opposed to staring wantonly into your eyes, in the throes of passion. I look at you all day, and as pretty as you are, your godly assets deserve some attention too. For it is as much their own fault, with all their inner beauty as it is mine. They wobble and tease in their confident calm, how i imagine Elvis would, on his gold trim Lilo, rocking back and forth in a calm sea.

Tits. I salute you.

YOUR EGGY FARTS ARE HILARIOUS - We all love the smell of our own brew, and find others not so palatable - however, i always think a fart is funny. It is a comedy basic, a sure fire hit - from the laughter vaults, up there with the 'cream pie in face' and 'falling over'. So why when 'she' does her eggy wonders they are rightly so - hilarious, and top draw comedy genius, but mine however are the devils own breath, produced from Hitlers anus? This continues to perplex me, and makes me laugh even more at my own.

IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU - I would never tell you something looks good on you just to please you. That would be insane. Ultimately it's what is underneath that counts, but if you look shit - I will say. 

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET USED TO A THONG? - I've always imagined it makes you need a poo? Is this true?

That's why I always wear mine back to front innit?  Love, Owl xx

About Me:  I feel that in today's society it is extremely important to treat each and every one of us with the respect and integrity we deserve. What better than to give a smile? What more noble than to banish a frown? Each and every one of us has something to offer. Remember, one mans tool is another mans poison, so let us all move forward together and share our unique ability to love and care for each other like no other.

Who I'd like to meet:  Slags.


Sarah said...

I think I'm in love

Anonymous said...

funny and sexy. Result!

Anonymous said...

Ha, what a complete don!