Friday, September 11, 2009

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part deux



IF HE IS NOT ANSWERING YOUR CALLS NOR REPLYING TO YOUR TEXT MESSAGES ITS BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO - Yes, this is a hard fact to face. Rejection is like a big icy wind slapping you in the face, it sucks giant balls and makes you feel disposable. But the guys a douche and why bother stroking his ego when you could be stroking something else? Move on and delete him from facebook.

EATING LESS THAN 2000 CALORIES A DAY WILL MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT - This shit is the Gospel. Forget the soup diets, the shake diets and the no eating diets...you can't do those forever. Calorie counting is the way forward. If you burn more than you consume you lose weight. It's that basic. By calorie counting, you are not depriving yourself of anything fabulous. You can have that slab of chocolate, but you will have to accept that that is probably all you can eat that day. Portion control baby...PORTION CONTROL. Listen to me...I've lived it and learnt it.

START PUTTING MONEY ASIDE AS SOON AS YOU START EARNING - You will thank me for this. Being broke is possibly the worst feeling in the fucking universe. Well, that and not having any replies to your text messages. Don't make your head the bulls eye on the dartboard that is life.

LISTEN TO THE TEMPER TRAP - It is like they are making love to your ears.

CLEAN THE MOULD OFF YOUR SHOWER CURTAIN AND THE GROUTING OF YOUR TILES - If you don't then you are disgusting and people judge you by the cleanliness of your bathroom.

DON'T WEAR BEIGE - Beige is not a colour...it's a lifestyle choice.

GO ON HOLIDAY SOMEWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN BALI - There is a big wide world out there. Buy a globe and check the mother fucker out.

FOR GODS SAKE, DON'T WEAR WHITE TO A WEDDING - That shit is just whack.

BE HAPPY WITH YOUR OWN COMPANY - Nobody likes a clingy or needy girlfriend/sister/friend. You just piss people off and they pity you. You were given a brain, a few talents and the ability to be independant - it really is a true sin if you don't make use of these things.

PUT SOME SLAP ON - Nobody can look natural without a bit of make-up. Oh the irony.

You are all rockstars xx

2 comments:

Dawnshade said...

I have just done something extraordinary for me. I read your entire blog. I was impressed, you sounded like me. Except that I'm only 21, and I am one of those awful people who bitch about loosing weight while fitting comfortably into size 10-12 clothing. I am constantly up and down with my mood swings, and looking for something to cling too, though religion is a never gonna happen. Wow, given what a tragic day I am having, you've really given me a kick in the arm to sort myself out and stop being such a whinger. Thanks.

Tam Tam said...

wow Dawn...thats amazing feedback!
Remember you are strong and beautiful x