Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente


IF YOU OPEN A PACKET OF TIM TAM'S, THE TEMPTATION TO EAT THE ENTIRE THING IS FAR TOO HIGH - Therefore, just don't purchase the fuckers.

DON'T PRETEND TO BE ILL OR DRUNK JUST TO GET ATTENTION FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND - It looks beyond desperate and pathetic. If you are feeling attention starved, maybe assess your expectations or dump the bozo. Either way, the whole damsel in distress thing is just not cricket.

NOTHING CURES A HANGOVER LIKE A SWIM IN THE OCEAN - And I do mean NOTHING.

WHEN YOU ARE RUNNING AROUND TAGGING PEEPS ON FACEBOOK, MAKE SURE IT'S FLATTERING - This should be made fucking compulsory internet etiquette. Because I'm telling ya, that shit has karma.

SHAVE YOUR LEGS (NOT IN FRONT OF HIM) - Seriously bitches, they like us warm, tight and SMOOTH. Don't be retarded and get out the razor.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET INVOLVED WITH THE BITCHING TO MAKE FRIENDS - In fact, you'll probs find you make better friends without a tongue that lashes fire. And really, if you are over the age of 25 you have no business talking shit about kids. Grow the fuck up.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WEARING BRIGHT YELLOW KICKS - Don't be afraid of the daring. Be inspired.

Email me with your Q's at obnoxiousowl@gmail.com. Inspire me x

6 comments:

Lady SJ said...

Amen, esp the hungover swimming bit. Just don't be so hungover that you drown...

And yes to the yellow kicks! They are amazoid, alas ridic to clean once soiled. SO DON'T SOIL THEM!

Obnoxious Owl said...

I take this on board. Would Lady SJ like to possibly do a guest blog on advice for 'kicks care'?

erin said...

I love the sneaks! I have a pair of adidas with the yellow stripes...I have a pair with pink and with red too. Call it an early 20s obsession.

Obnoxious Owl said...

Sounds bloody brill Erin, keep up the obsession x

Savyra said...

Those yellos are so biteable... they look like jellybabies. How could one not get such? Like red hair, it's impossible to be depressed if you wear these, I'm sure. Till they get soiled. Note to self: Stay aWAY from drunk friends.

Obnoxious Owl said...

ooooohhh jellybabys ...I like that x