Monday, April 12, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part quarante-quatre

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ONE OR THE OTHER - Just because you are hooked up does not mean that it needs to be DVDs and cuddles every God. forsaken. weekend, nor does it have to be all hip hop till you don't stop every night either. Mix it up yo! This should prevent you from taking a turn into 'Rut Town' or on the other hand you party so much and become overly liberal that you land up in an awkward threesome. It is possible to have the best of both worlds.

AND IF YOU ARE COUPLED UP - Do you have to have a frikkin argument every time you take your relatio onto dry land? Not only is it tacky, it's uncomfortable for those around you. Not to mention boring. And irritating. Did I mention boring? ...... And irritating?

RAW COOKIE DOUGH IS SEX TO THE PALETTE - But rape to your thigh's. Don't be a statistic.

THE BEST WAY TO SHUT UP OTHER PEOPLE'S SCREAMING KIDS WHEN YOU'RE OUT... - Is to slowly drag your finger across your throat in the 'slitting motion' when their Mum ain't looking. I'M KIDDING! Relax!

STOP WEARING THE EARRINGS THAT ARE INFECTING YOUR LOBES - ThriFt store pierced one's can be a fucker for this. Sort your shit out please.

DO NOT CONDONE BAD MANNERS FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX - Like if you and your friend met some dude at a party the weekend before and they hooked up, then if you see him again the following weekend and he has a try of his luck with you and doesn't even say wassup to your mate - tell homeboy where to stick it...and I don't mean your vagina.

Ho's before bro's x


jen said...

screaming kids are the reason why our art gallery is so crap. they should not hold kiddy activities in there ever

Monster Girl said...

I have recently been subjected to a lot of part two from my friend and her boyfriend. Every single time we go out one of you is going to get into a sulk about some tiny itty bitty thing and subject the other to the silent treatment while they paw at you for forgiveness and then make up with you and make out with you and it's loud and sloppy and, oh look, his hands are on your breasts? Really? Great. That reminds me, I think I have other plans for whenever it is you next want to hang out...

Obnoxious Owl said...

I hear ya girl x