OWL'S SOFA

Dear Owl,

I have been with my guy for nearly 7 years and lately we have been losing our spark. How do you know when to cut your losses and move on? Any tips for bringing back the magic?

Anon

Oh girl. I have had muchos experience with this head fuck in the past. I think sometimes it's either just the long period of time that causes a bit of a lull or it could just be that you have grown apart...unforch, mine was the latter. The former is relatively easy to fix, but if its the other...then there is no answer at obnoxiousowl.com - because you already know what it is :(

But if it's just because you have taken up residence on Rut Street - then here are a few suggestions my honey bear:

• Tell each other a secret - It's sharing intimates with other people that bring you closer together. Whether its something trivial like you drove through KFC on your way back from the gym, or something amazingly erotic like you stole 5 minutes from work that day to go masturbate in the toilet cubicle because you were thinking of him ... er yeah, either way, you'll share a moment. Coax him to sharing one with you too.


• Be random - Suggest something out of the blue. Like on a balmy summers evening, suggest to go skinny dipping? What about saying you're going to get ready for bed and you come out dressed as an uber slut? Go to a strip club together? It doesn't even have to be naughty...go to the zoo if you haven't been in ages...or ice skating, or have dinner on the living room floor (it's called a carpet picnic). Buy tickets to a gig that neither of you have really spoken about. Get the idea?


• Take part in some kind of extreme sport - Go sky diving! Or Bungee jumping! Sharing the experience will relight the smallest glimmer of a flame. If risking your life ain't your thing, maybe learn something new like surfing? If all else fails, let him do you up the bum.


• Be a creature of mystery - Quit farting, shaving, plucking, squeezing things or giving yourself facials in front of him! Jesus woman. And go to bed wearing something saucier than an old tshirt...or better yet...nothing at all.

Thing is sugar, all of these are good and well and can definitely make a difference if the issues are only mere cracks on the surface...but if they run a little deeper...communication is all that is left. Laying your cards on the table and being honest about how you feel. Just don't fucking cheat.

You don't have to be in a relationship that leaves you bored. Remember, beige is not a colour, its a lifestyle choice.

Love Owl xx