Sunday, November 14, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway Part soixante-dix-neuf

DON'T BE A DUMB BITCH AND FALL PREGNANT TO HANG ON TO HIM - It ain't fair to a number of people, but namely the unborn child who doesn't deserve to be some kind of desperate glue to keep two people together who really probably shouldn't be.  Plus, having a kid in this kind of situation is like having a souvenir from a bad holiday, except you can't put it in the attic or throw it away.  Also, when you 'trick' a guy into making you pregnant, it's bad for the female image and it also makes you a bit of a bitch.

DON'T GO ON WEB CAM IF HE ASKS - He doesn't really wanna see you, he just wants to see if he is able to get you to do it.  Please don't flatter him.

TRY NOT TO BE SO TRANSPARENT - When you pretend to like football, English Premier League, certain music, NBA and various other boy stuff just to get boys attention, THEY ALWAYS KNOW. Once in primary school, I pretended to really be into marbles...then I had to start playing...turns out, I was actually pretty good...some might say 'highly talented' and I won heaps of tournaments. So yeah, maybe that ain't a good example. But you know what I mean, and you know who you are.

IF YOU ARE GIVING HIM A HAND JOB AND IT IS BONE DRY, NOT EVEN A BIT OF PRE CUM TO HELP LUBE THE SITUATION, YOU MAY HURT HIM - And he is not enjoying it.  There is no shame in spitting on his dick.  Trust me. He'll like it.

A DUDE WHO LIKES YOU, WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU HANGING ON FB CHAT/MSN/SKYPE/TEXTING - If he ain't replying/responding yes it does mean he is busy...too busy to speak to you.  It's no big deal though, move right along and for fucks sake, don't send the 'Hey, did you get my last message?'  CRINGE CRINGE GO KILL YOURSELF CRINGE

REMEMBER HOW YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A GROWN UP? - Guess what?! It's happening. Now grow the fuck up.


Anonymous said...

"cringe cringe go kill yourself cringe" BAHAHAHAHAHAH

Robin said...

"REMEMBER HOW YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A GROWN UP? - Guess what?! It's happening. Now grow the fuck up." Is the best thing I've heard in a long, long time. :)

Anonymous said...

AMAZING. Plus you are fucking hot.

Obnoxious Owl said...

I try :) x