Friday, December 10, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway Part quatre-vingt-deux



IF YOU ARE FEELING PARANOID AND SAD, THE WORST THING EVER IS TO GO ON SOCIAL NETWORKS - Oh dear God.  Every single status update, tweet or general comment will be about you.  Well...at least in your head it will be.  You'll wonder why somebody did or didn't like your status. You will wonder how the person you haven't spoken to in 4 years and now lives in Brazil knows about your 'situation' when clearly their status update is about you. UNREASONABLE ASSUMPTIONS WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.  Switch off the laptop, put a mindless DVD on and go to bed.

IT SHOULDN'T BE SO HARD - Er....no, not that.  I'm talking about relationships here. It really shouldn't be such a fuck show...unless you're well...fucking!  But having these long God damn drawn out 'talks' about where shit is going and giving things '6 months' or won't live together until you're 'ready' is just ridiculous.  How the hell do you know when you're ready?  Someone calls out your ticket number?  Choosing a partner is not like family members you know, you actually have a choice in the matter.  Consider the percentages of how often you are happy vs sad or content vs angry.  It's not rocket science.

DRINK WATER - You will pee a lot, but your skin will look like the untouched buttocks of a newborn baby.

GUESS WHAT?!?!?! - Girls like sex!  Yup. True story.  They're not even a slut if they do.  They also sometimes write about it for a) humor and b) because it's real life.  It does not warrant every Tom, Dickhead and Harry to try and get them to say rude things so they can have a little wank about it later.  Got that?   Only genuine mature souls need apply.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU THINK YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR PERIOD? - You probs haven't so don't have sex. It will be embarrassing and you know it. The dregs is kinda like the wasps nest you don't wanna disturb...if you know what I mean?  Sorry if this is grossing you out boys, but I'm doing this for YOU.

YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON IF YOU CAN'T STAND A CHILD - They will probably grow up to be an asshole of an adult anyway, so maybe put your dislike on lay by if you are really feeling that bad about it. But seriously, some kids need to recognize hey...

4 comments:

Fat Aus said...

agreed X 1 million that it should not be that hard! i wish someone had told me that a few years ago haha

Anonymous said...

Im not even gonna lie, Im a child hater... and i have a child of my own, and shes the only child I like (LOVE!... shes amazing though). Other than her, I cant stand any other children, lets face it, kids are assholes. Especially around that 7-20 age (just roughly).

Obnoxious Owl said...

Big LOL to last comment!

Gem said...

Girls like sex (we are all animals after all, it's fucking nature!) but we also deserve RESPECT. Enjoying SEX isn't the same as enjoying SEXUAL HARASSMENT. ok guys? :D This needs to be said before I snap at the next guy who hassles me.

I am sick to death of losers harassing me (and other ladies) at random times .. it's one thing to have a guy approach you and get a compliment (even if their motives are sexual, at least they treat you like a human) another to have men lick there lips at you and talk about you like they are picking a prime steak to eat for dinner... because apparently they don't need my permission to start making unwanted advances towards me.
It's insulting, and it's not flattering to be exploited for someone else's power trip. I don't know how many women feel the same way but I am someone who doesn't find it amusing at all. It totally disempowers me to have ugly males walk all over my boundaries to feel better about themselves. Look in the mirror dude, you are delusional and it takes more to impress a lady than to whistle at her. It's not the 19 fucking 50's anymore. Sexism should of gone out with the KKK. It's old, doesn't get you anywhere, and makes you look like an ignorant piece of shit.

Feel like I have to bring it up because last night I was
hounded by 11 drunk and very rowdy guys on my way to my boyfriends house (taking photos of me, trying to grab me etc when I clearly was ignoring them) and security guards standing close by did nothing. Just shows how acceptable it is to treat women like dogs. If it was about race it wouldn't be tolerated, but because it was sexist it's ok. Being targeted for being female isn't right and it happens all the time. It makes the decent guys look bad and makes it harder for them to approach women because we have our defenses up all the time.

I know people read this blog so I hope this message gets through everyone's heads. It takes a surprising amount of effort to get it past some people.

Don't take it as a compliment girls, and any guy reading this who doesn't know it yet- you shouldn't feel the need to intimidate girls to feel powerful, you look like a douche. Become a man and grow some fucking balls, and learn how to have a decent conversation when picking up chicks.

P.S Good post Owl xx