Saturday, March 5, 2011

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway Part quatre-vingt-sept

LET'S TALK FEMALE EMPOWERMENT FOR A SECOND... - It's all bullshit...unless you do it for the right reasons. So you've had your heart broken, so old mate has a new girlfriend, so you are flailing a little at life....that don't mean you need to be out on the piss 24/7 looking for guys and doing crazy things in the hope that an ex or a someone you have a crush on will hear about it and think 'Whoah! This girl is awesome!' WRONG. True girl power is about being the best you can be and walking the walk as well as talking. the. shit.

IF A DUDE WRITES THAT HE IS BORED AS HIS FACEBOOK STATUS IT MEANS HE IS LOOKING FOR A VAGINA WITH A WOMAN ATTACHED TO IT - John: 'I'm bored' Girl 1 likes this, Girl 2 likes this Girl 3 'Same' Girl 4 'I'm just at home doing nothing' Girl 5 'Same! So I'm watching redtube to keep me occupied ;)' Girl 6 likes this Random Dude: 'Have a wank!' (I always love those dudes haha, Owl) - Do you see the pattern here? Don't get sucked in.

THRUSH - Treat it. Nuff said.

THERE IS A CERTAIN DIGNITY ABOUT HAVING A SATURDAY IN ON YOUR OWN - Have a long sudsy shower. Cover yourself in body lotion even your boobs! Blow dry your hair and spray perfume. Put on something uber comfy. Make your favourite meal...even if its mac and cheese out the packet who cares! You're on your own and no one can see! Have a movie marathon...I recommend any Molly Ringwald flick. Light some candles. Make a little bed on the living room floor. Open a bottle of wine. And to finish the night off make oyourself cum before sleeping like a baby. Then phone someone sexy to go for pancakes with the next morning. DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THE PRIVATE DATE YOU HAD WITH YOURSELF!

EVERY NOW AND AGAIN YOU SHOULD REARRANGE SOMETHING IN YOUR APARTMENT - Whether you hang a picture somewhere else, rearrange the kitchen cupboards or decide that the you would prefer your bookshelf in the study...whatever! I don't know why, but somehow it makes you feel like you are in control of your life and organized. Kind of.

Remember: Nothing in your life is that important because there are kids starving in Africa.

The rest of the advice posts for those that are new

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