Take my advice...I don't use it anyway HOMME Part 19

FOR BOYS ONLY

THE MOST OFF PUTTING THING YOU COULD EVER DO IS TO TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY - Unlike you boys, we need more than just a pair of tits to give us a hard on.  Make us laugh and best of all, have the ability to laugh at yourself.  It's hella sexy.

HAVE A BIT OF DRIVE - We aren't asking you to be a millionaire or to be the next Richard Branson or anything.  All we ask is that you pull you finger out and strive to be the best that you can be.  If the sentence ever changes from 'Yeah, I smoke a bit of weed from time to time' to 'I'm a bit of a stoner' - that means you have no drive. 

STOP DOING THAT TWISTIE THING WITH YOUR FINGERS - We aren't an orange, and you sure as hell ain't an orange juicer.  Yeah, you know what I'm talking about all you twisted twisties out there!  And while we're on the subject...you need to work up to 4 fingers.  This ain't Thanksgiving, and we ain't no turkey.  So we are not an orange, nor are we a turkey...got it?

CARTOON CHARACTERS ON YOUR UNDERWEAR IS A CLIT KILLER - FYI

STOP TRYING TO BE THE DUDE YOU THINK SHE WANTS YOU TO BE, AND OWN THE PERSON YOU ARE - A little 'Hallmark' I know, but I really want to get through to you that confidence, drive and living up to your own personal identity will make you irresistible.

YEAH, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU 'LOST YOUR WAY' - We know you were aiming for the bum. We weren't born yesterday.  Well, actually...I've seen some real young ones on the arms of some of you fella's, THEY probably were.

Let's date! x

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway HOMME Part 7

FOR BOYS ONLY

IF YOU LIKE A GIRL, THEN DON'T BE HOOKING UP WITH OTHER BROADS - She will find out and your chances will be ruined. RUINED.

SAYING THINGS LIKE 'SIT ON MY FACE' OR 'NICE TITS' WILL NOT WORK OUT WELL FOR YOU - Actually, I would be VERY interested to know if you have ever said these things to a complete stranger and you got laid...please let me know.

JUST BEING IN A BAND WILL NOT MAKE ALL GIRLS FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU - So you have a mediocre job, smoke weed all day and night, are drunk most of the time, sex text other birds and never take a shower....oh but you're in band you say? Well in that case...

PLEASE KEEP YOUR TOP ON AT MUSIC FESTIVALS - I don't care how long you have worked on your tan and pecs...but the whole top off thing is incredibly self indulgent. We can tell the difference between someone that is genuinely feeling the heat and needs to remove some clothing, and those that are prancing around like little narcissistic peacocks...emphasis on the word 'cocks'.

OF COURSE WE LOVE THE TASTE OF YOUR MAN JUICE ... - Don't you?