Sunday, May 30, 2010

OWL'S SOFA: Born to ride

"Dear Owl,

So me and my flatmate were trawling your sweet as blog instead of doing uni work... We have a question for you. We have had yarns recently about girl-on-top and frankly, neither of us feel that comfortable with it. I feel gammy just getting on top in the first place, and my flatmate reckons it does nothing for her - except show off her wobbly bits. Any advice to help us conquer our fears??

p.s. I love opening up my google reader to see that there are Obnoxious Owl posts to devour - you are the shizz. Chur!"
Firstly, lets take a moment to reflect on home girl above. Dang! You know that SHE is riding fella like it's for sale and rent is due. Anyway, back to the matter at hand...
Look girls, I don't really know what your problem is hey... I get the whole feeling vulnerable thing 'cause he is getting a good view of all your full frontal glory, but seriously? I doubt he even notices any flaws because he is to busy concentrating on your tits and not blowing too early. Being on top gives you full control of pace, depth and motion - basically no excuse for not getting your rocks off.
By no means am I some kind of blogging porn star, but I am a lady, and a lady that doesn't mind being queen of the castle so I'll tell you what I think works...
  • Just because you are in the drivers seat, doesn't mean you have to do all the work while old mate lays back with his hands behind his head. Get him to hold your hips and help out with the gyration. You are on top. It's all about you. Not him.
  • I think tilting slightly forward with your hands resting on his shoulders or on either side of his chest helps you to keep balance and rhythm. He also gets less of an eye full, so this is good if you are having a fat day.
  • Mabes pull his shoulders towards you so you are both kinda sitting in the upright position. Or better yet, spin around and hold onto his ankles. Trust me, you look great from behind.

I think the issue here, is that when you are up on the saddle, all eyes are on you and a bit of a performance needs to take place, which can make a girl feel somewhat self conscious and shy. When it comes to sex, for any of it to do anything for you, you need to feel relaxed and uninhibited. Because there is actually no physical reason why riding the pony should not get you off. Keep your top on, or wear a sexy negligee or some shit if you don't want him to see your soft tummy. But you may be shooting yourself in the sexual foot here because he totes wants to see your titties bounce. Come on ladies, it's sex! It's exactly like performance art! Hold your boobies, flick your hair, lean back and scream. They love that shit. Just don't get too carried away with over grinding, you don't want it to pop out of you and then you could end up bending his manhood. That will impress him alot less than your tummy or lack of breasts. Believe.

Just stop over thinking it and enjoy yourself ffs!

Love Owl x

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