Friday, August 27, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part soixante-six

SOMETIMES, LIKE EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU - I know it sometimes seems that everything in your life is in the toilet and that everyone else around you looks like their life is sparkly and full of rainbows...nah ah sister, why don't you ask someone how THEY are doing for a change?   Sometimes when you are whinging and whining, I can almost guarantee that your mate is listening to you and thinking, 'Look love, could you kindly fuck off I am in the middle of booking an abortion here' ... We don't always know what somebody else may be going through is all I'm saying.

CLEAN YOUR DILDO/VIBRATOR - I didn't want to use the word 'crusty''ve left me no other option.  Please ladies, look after your hot box.

STOP ASKING IF YOU LOOK FAT WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ONLY WEIGH 50KG - Its annoying to those of us who weigh a little more and it also makes people want to rugby tackle you to the ground, and force feed you mars bars.  Work on that insecurity honey.

IF YOU USED TO BE THIN AND YOU PUT ON A BIT OF WEIGHT, THEN YOU CAN'T DRESS LIKE HOW YOU USED TO WHEN YOU WERE THIN - And when I say a bit of weight, I mean like 10kg.  Often I see girls who look bigger than what they actually are because they dress wrong, then the truly curvy girls look banging because they dress accordingly.  Plus, you know yourself if you have put on some weight...don't act surprised.

BOYS HATE IT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT OUR PERIOD - It's blood coming out of our vagina's...can you fucking blame them?  Come on ladies! Some decorum if you please tsk tsk

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE TASTE OF YOUR OWN VAGINA ... then how can you expect him to eat at Restaurant De la Pussy?

Keep it clean x

Sorry about all the talk of period and vagina's.  It's been one of those weeks x


Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm only 21 but do you think it'd be a good idea to start using Prevage eye cream now? Or can it wait/I settle for something cheaper? I have bags at the moment from studying all nighters, and don't want them to worsen over time. Sorry if this is non-related!

Obnoxious Owl said...

I would start using the best one you can afford. Doesnt have to be prevage. I get mega bags hey, wish I started using earlier. But generally, anything with caffiene in it is good (Garnier eye roll on stuff is appaz good) and SLEEP. Which I never do. Prevention is better than a fuck show x

motel said...

recently i met this girl who is OBSESSED with going on about how she has eaten too much all the time. she keeps going 'man i'm so greedy, i'm so full, i need to lose weight etc etc bla bla'. what is she eating you ask? fruit and vegetables....and she's really fit. makes me feel great, gobbling down a chocolate bar and pizza next to her with my tummy rolls. ergh