Sunday, October 24, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway Part soixante-quinze



THE TRUTH IS ALWAYS THE BEST WAY TO GO - It's never the easiest but it's the best. Lies and secrets bog you down and make you frown. And you don't want no wrinkles up in your grill for at least another 10 years.  Honesty is the best policy...the consequences might not always be ideal, but at least that black cloud will disappear from above your head, ya get me?

I KNOW YOU'RE DRUNK, BUT DANCING LIKE A SKANK IS SO NOT FLATTERING - You ain't in the Playboy Mansion and as far as I know, only teenage boys get turned on by girls gyrating on each other these days.  You are basically dry humping another girls leg and you aren't a lesbian.  God hates attention seekers.

SO HERE'S THE THING WITH DRESSING IN ITTY BITTY DRESSES ON A NIGHT OUT ... - I won't lie, you look hot. OK, SOME of you look hot, if you get it right.  A short tight red dress, killer heels on the end of killer pins with red lipstick and an ice cool exterior will look banging...but only if you stay composed and sober.  Otherwise, everyone remembers THAT girl who passed out drunk after falling out of her heels with her dress around her waist.  If you know you're gonna get torched that night, stick to jeans or something that will ensure that your mouse stays in the house.

STUFFED ANIMALS ON THE DASHBOARD OF YOUR CAR OR ON YOUR BED ARE NOT OK! - You are a grown woman!  OK, Asians seem to get away with this...I dunno why.  I'm not being racist, I love Asians! But yeah, they have that whole 'Hello Kitty' thing down where it just looks kitch and cool, instead of us lot who look tacky and pathetic.  Just stop it!  Unless you're Asian, then it's cool I s'pose.

THE PROBLEM WITH BEGINNING TO LIKE SOMEONE, IS THAT YOU THEN START TO EXPECT THINGS FROM THEM - Like you hold them in a certain regard and expect them to reach that standard and not slip off the imaginary pedestal you put them on.  Lighten up buddy, they never asked for your attention!  We is all but a human being, no?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and one for luck x

Art by Ben Frost

6 comments:

Irene said...

You are so wise and your blog is such a great and refreshing read. I think I would die without your advice posts.

sandraaa_xo said...

hahaha i loved the last one, so right!

Obnoxious Owl said...

Thank you for reading! Makes my day when I know someone pays attention to my dribble haha xxxx

Ruby Velour said...

Haha I have stuffed animals on my dash and bed. But I'm practically Japanese so I'm gonna just keep rolling with it ;)

Rosa said...

I happen to like teddies on my bed, thanks. ;>
Hah, but hell, I have a princess bedroom like most little girls would die for and a wardrobe full of flouncy pink frocks and mary-janes, so I'm going to roll on ahead and say that they're part of the decor. It isn't like I date anyway (far too much bother when God gave me two hands).

Your advice is still great stuff, though. <3 I wish my pubescent self could have had access to this wisdom!

Obnoxious Owl said...

HA! Just watch out for teddy's paw x