FOR BOYS ONLY
THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO TELL US HOW HOT YOU THINK OUR FRIENDS ARE - Unless you want to suck your own dick later that is.
CLEANSE AND MOISTURISE YOUR FACE - It. is. not. gay. You need to do it. Do you think that baby bottom skin is gonna last forever? So many brands do skincare for dudes now anyway, so the packaging is all manly and stuff. It's fine. No one will laugh at you.
DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR, AND GO BUY YOURSELF A PAIR OF JEANS THAT FIT YOU WELL - The best thing about your body is your ass. A pair of good jeans well help accentuate this little treasure. You need to avoid boot cuts and please for the love of GOD avoid stone wash. Yes yes some of you think skinny jeans are gayer that Elton John on all fours, so we're not asking you to get them, but get some that make your ass look like two scoops of ice cream please at least. Hardly anywhere does jeans with a zip fly for dudes now so don't ask for them, also, button fly denims are safer...lets be honest. So to sum it up, you need a pair of bog standard straight leg jeans that sit low on the hip, do not have a boot cut, button fly and low back pockets. Find a lady sales assistant to help you, she'll thoroughly enjoy the experience. Trust me.
TIPS FOR BUYING UNDERWEAR - Avoid the word 'polyester'. Avoid Crotchless. Avoid anything from the Adult Store, those things are meant for chicks named Cookie and whores, or for when you and your missus are just wanting a bit of fun. If you are purchasing knickers as a gift it needs to be something sexy yet tasteful. It needs to fit her properly too. You can't buy her a DD just because you want her to be that, a good bra can make her look like she has DD's anyway. Check out her underwear drawer and look at the sizes. Ask her mates...(for her size. Not theirs.) Do some research my dear. Go for black, white, soft pinks or leopard print. She's your lady, not your mistress. Cute polka dots and such is wonderful too. Elle Macpherson, Pleasure State and Agent Provocateur are all good choices. Happy shopping.
YEAH OF COURSE SIZE DOESN'T MATTER - Just like tits don't matter to you.
Don't forget to moisturize that gorgeous mug of yours x
