Saturday, October 17, 2009

Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing.

OK, so I'm just gonna say it from the start. This is a blog about blow jobs. Now I have to be careful here because my dear mother reads my blog entries. But I did dish out some advice in an earlier entry advising that you should learn to give decent head in order to be somewhat in power. I also then realised that this made me sound like some kind of connoisseur which it in does. Kidding kidding, look I'm no expert on the subject of fellatio but I do think I might know a thing or two, as a lady who has had very few complaints. Ehrm, OK maybe a few. Geez, this is awkward. Look I'm only writing this 'cause you lot asked me to OK?

OK ... here goes ...

EYE CONTACT - Keep your hair out of your face and keep looking up at him - they love this.
EASY DOES IT - When I say 'easy' I mean 'go slow' not BE easy, because this kind of act should only be dished out to those that are entitled to the privilege. And IS a privilege.
USE YOUR HANDS WISELY - Be careful when introducing your hands with your um, mouth because you could be calling curtain at a very early stage.
WATCH OUT FOR FRICTION - I'm only going to ever say this once, but a good dose of um...spit...goes along way. I'm just saying.
WATCH THE CHOMPERS - Yeah ladies...teeth. Most girls wrap their lips around their teeth to protect the gentleman, but all that does is it creates a hard ridge. Just shield your bottom teeth with your tongue and open your mouth as wide as possible so that your top teeth stay clear. Ehrm, can't believe I just wrote that.
DON'T FORGET THE UM, SCROTUM - They love it, they really do. Look that's all I'm saying on the subject.

Yes yes yes, this hasn't been the most insightful bit of information I admit. And I don't want to come off as a some kind of harlot, I'm just tryna help a sister out OK?


Anonymous said...

haha, well, I seem to everything you just listed, and I was quite pleased when my boyfriend informed me that I give him the best blowjobs he's ever had, and I know he isnt just saying it, cause he's a straight up kinda guy.

But one question, what is calling curtain??

Tam Tam said...

high five body kiss.
'culling curtain' i.e. 'end of show'(he cum's within 5 seconds) And not on your tits or face either, but on your leg. Not good.
Keep up the good work though, I hope he knows how lucky he is x