Friday, October 9, 2009

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part six

YOU LOOK SPECIAL NEEDS WHEN YOU TYPE LIKE A PUBESCENT - Serisly, ittt looks slightly retarded when you's type lik thiiisss. If yOu R )vEr the @ge of 16 & u typppe like yooou R uSiNg yourrr elbowssss *** then you arrre basicallly sayyying you havve had No eDuCaTiOn wat soooo eva **** $$% !!! muppets, I bet you're first word was lol.

REMOVE THE PRICE TAG FROM UNDERNEATH YOUR SHOES - It's all about attention to detail darlings.

DO NOT NAG YOUR MAN - Nothing grinds their gears more than a nagging female. Even the Bible tells you not to (Proverbs 1 vs 1 - 6). Also, it makes them feel like a kid and it makes you feel like an old bag...what good could possibly come from this? Ask nicely once, second time just a friendly reminder...then for the third time shag their best friend - kidding seriously, nagging is often seen as criticism, so your boy will inevitably tune out and make what you're saying ineffective. Just acknowledge your different perspectives on whatever the subject is your nagging about. And fellas here's a hint - if you are being nagged, accept your responsibility in creating an environment that has triggered a nagging response. Geez haven't I told you before? We're not your mother.

LEARN TO GIVE DECENT HEAD - You will have him by the balls. (Further advice on this subject will require it's very own blog entry - stay tuned)

WATCH WHAT YOU THROW AWAY IN YOUR BATHROOM WASTEPAPER BIN - ESPECIALLY if you have a date coming over. That may be a red lipstick stain on that tissue but hey...just cover your ass is all I'm saying.

SOMETIMES YOU CAN HAVE TOO MUCH CLEAVAGE - If you have them, you don't need to get them out in order for people to know you do. There is a time and a place girls. For instance, dinner with your man friends parents - not the time nor the place. Filling out a to-die-for Wheels and Doll Baby 1950's frock? - Definitely the time and place. Sometimes the attention you get from getting the mammary glands out is not really the attention we should be welcoming.

Adios - I'm off to have nachos xx

No comments: