Thursday, April 22, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway HOMME Part 11


FOR BOYS ONLY

ROSARY BEADS COULDN'T BE MORE OVER - Yes David Beckham kinda looked hot in them in ...when was it? 2001 maybe? But now it's just lame ESPECIALLY if you aren't even remotely religious. It's just my opinion.

DON'T GET THAT GIRLS NAME TATTOOED ON YOUR ARM ... - Or anywhere else for that matter. It's kinda romantic but it's also real silly.

WASH YOUR SHEETS - And make your bed. Else you won't get laid. FACT. And if you are getting laid in an unmade filthy bed...well...those girls need to check themselves.

SOMETIMES GIRLS WILL GIVE YOU THE IMPRESSION THAT THEY WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU WHEN THEY HAVE NO INTENTION TO - If they keep avoiding the subject, it's 'cause they either don't wanna hurt your feelings, or because they wanna keep you interested for as long as possible while they figure out if they like you or not. If you want a quickie, find someone who shares your desire for no strings shenanigans otherwise...don't bother.

ALL YOUR FRIENDS FLIRT WITH YOUR HOT NEW GIRLFRIEND - Yes. All of them.

WE FAKE MOST OF THE TIME - It's not always a reflection on your performance...or lack there of. It's just that the female orgasm is a stubborn little fucker that needs more than a prod to come out of it's hiding place and sometimes we just aren't in the mood to make the effort. However ... some guys just seriously don't know what the fuck they are doing.

YOU KNOW WHEN SOME OF YOU SPEED AWAY WITH YOUR BIG NOISY EXHAUST PIPE IN A FURY? - You might wanna make sure you aren't leaving the petrol station after you just bought a Chocolate Chill and a Cadburys Fredo Frog. Epic fail on the street cred. Furthermore, it's not that impressive...no I'm lying...it's not impressive at all.
Boobs!!

7 comments:

Lilly Marshmallow said...

hahaha, i love you!

GRACIE ! said...

"We Fake Most Of The Time" - REALLY? I NEVER Do! I refuse to! Am i weird?

I also don't have that much problem getting the real deal to occur. again, am i weird?

Obnoxious Owl said...

Yes you are weird.

Kidding, no love you are just fucking lucky and someone knows what he is doing. I can everytime too if I um, finish it off, but let's be honest, most men do struggle...corrrection, most BOYS struggle to get us off. But whomever you are having dalliances with obvs knows his stuff. Don't be selfish woman, unleash him into the world! x

Anonymous said...

a lot of this seemed off the mark for me at least :], but hay everyone much different.

My girlfriend doesn't fake, she would rather be pissy at me.
Plus if she can fake that well she deserves freaking medals for super acting skillz :]

but apparently I'm 'sooooooooo amazing' :/ k. But yeah, it's almost always her on top that sets her off.

Obnoxious Owl said...

As I've said before this advice is for the average Joe. Most girls can get themselves off when they're on top...and you can do the hip grind thing. But hey, some men have the knack, you obviously do. Lucky lady :)

Anonymous said...

no i completely had a "YEAH you said it girl!" moment, we do fake it most/all of the time! well i wouldn't say i fake it....i just make it seem normal that im 'not there' haha, cause unfortunately it is normal! gracie your a freakin lucky girl....

chupajones.blogspot.com said...

for all the girls...never analyze a guy...sometimes we realy just think !!!boobs!!! and nothing else....@Tammy, greetings from Europe...summer is back here...!!!BOOBS!!!