Saturday, September 4, 2010

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway Part soixante-huit

DON'T HAVE SEX WITH YOUR ROOM MATE - It never ever ever works out.  It is awkward and you will feel weird afterwards.  If there is sexual tension...well, its the tension that is making things work.  The minute you bang each other, the tension is gone and there is nothing left to thrive on except awkwardness.  Plus the sex is never that good, and you feel like you do after your New Years Eve party...underwhelmed.

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY STILL EATING WHITE BREAD OVER BROWN? - At LEAST get the seeded white.  Eating white bread is the equivalent to eating candy floss i.e nutritional value is zero.  Turkish bread and sour dough is another matter, I'm not talking about that. It's the plastic, pre-sliced fuck show that I speak of.  Sort it out love, if not for yourself then do it for your colon for fucks sake.

HAVE SEX IN THE BACKSEAT OF YOUR CAR - It's so retro!  And the whole steamy window thing is pretty hot.  Just don't get jizz on the upholstery, that stuff sticks like wallpaper paste. Flatten the front seats as clever about it.

KEEP YOUR KICKS FRESH - You can be wearing $200 dollar jeans, have your hair done, nails did, but if your shoes look like two rottweilers had a fight over them and then when they were done pissed all over them you will just look like an um, dogs dinner. 

TOSS HIS SALAD - If fella is clean and enjoys good hygiene then I don't see what the problem is with licking his asshole.  Jus sayin.

TATTOOS TATTOOS TATTOOS - Whatever. They're cool...just chew on it for a bit yeah?  Your choice says alot about you.

WHEN YOU START A SENTENCE WITH 'I LOVE (insert name) BUT...' - It is still gossip.  You just do it to feel less guilty. *sigh* but we all do it innit?

Me love you long time x


gracie said...

people take ink so seriously! its boring.

Obnoxious Owl said...

I think a certain amount of seriousness is necessary, but yeah I agree...getting these fully meaningful 'this is My Dad's family crest and it means being hopeful cause I got abused' is a bit full on. Then there are those that get 'cunt' tattoo'd on their inner lips...yeeess. I think a certain amount of thought needs to go into these lifelong art works.

Shinygirl said...

At the very least take WHO DOES THE INK seriously. Even if you're having say, a T-bone steak doodled onto your bicep, get a good artist on it.

Nancy Magoo said...

Haha, my friend has CUNT tattooed on her inner lip. I want one, the inner lip thing that is, but mine will say Magoo.

I suppose it will counter-balance my pretentious literary quote on my neck.

Obnoxious Owl said...

:) I think tattoos should always be taken with the proverbial grain of salt. People get judged by what shoes they wear or what beer they drink, so of course you will be judged by the kind of artwork you choose to permanently put on yur body. Chances are, if you make good choices in fashion, you'll make good choices in tattoo's. I once worked with a girl that got 'nothing lasts forever' on her back. Not only was it crooked, it was spelt 'nothin' without the 'g'. Plus rumour has it she had that shit lasts forever. So does that tattoo actually.